Stay | C.H. Fanfiction

Chapter 32 - Calum

She's kissing him. Giving him her love like he was worthy of it. The guy who beat her when she was looking out for both of their lives when he was too drunk to drive, the guy who pushed her up against a wall as she gave in and had sex with him just so he'd stop, the guy who controlled every step of her life... she's still there, with him, dancing like they're this super happy couple.

I'm sitting here drinking shots and pretending I'm better than he is but the truth is that we're both cowards. Jason's a coward for abusing Tammy and I'm a coward for not doing anything about it. Now I'm standing in the club getting drunk as my friends are somewhere else having fun and Tammy's right there living in this fucking play pretend perfect world she created in her head where Jason is this amazing guy who loves her.

I couldn't stop myself even if I tried, I just kept watching. Her hands around his waist, his hands up her skirt grasping her thighs as she kept kissing him. She has no idea how this hurts me. He's kissing her here but that doesn't give me any guarantees that he won't hurt her as soon as they get to her hotel.

I never thought I'd see myself in a situation like this.

I never thought I'd be getting drunk because of a situation like this.

I swallowed another shot letting the liquid sting my throat and distracting me of the situation that was happening right before my eyes.

"Hi!" A blond girl said as she approached me and touched my arm to get my attention.

"Hi!" I said not really caring.

"I'm Kate, you are...?"

"I'm Calum but I have a girlfriend." I said hoping she'd go away as I looked over at the table where Cecilia, Tammy and Jason were.

"Oh I'm sorry. I guess it's true what they say about hot guys..." She said walking away.

"What do they say?" I asked probably way too drunk to even think about it. Why do I care after all?

"They're either gay... or committed."

I looked back at Tammy and suddenly I almost felt like throwing up as I saw her sitting on Jason's legs leaning into his chest just like she did when she told me about the piece of shit he is. That disgusted me. How could she put herself in the hands of someone who sooner or later is going to hurt her like never before? How can she do that to herself? How can she do this to me and expect me to be fucking quiet about it?

I hate myself but right now I hate Tammy even more for not letting anyone help her.

"Cal, dude, I haven't seen you all night." I heard Michael's voice as I downed another shot.

"So what?" I said letting my head fall into my arms in front of me.

"Okay, you drank too much."

"I fucking didn't. What makes you think that? Because I'm not fucking any girl, is that why Mike? Guess what! I don't want to fuck anyone else ever again." I said spitting every word.

"I don't know what's wrong with you but were leaving now and I'm taking you home so you better not make a scene or I'll get one of the guys and we'll get you out of here by force. And you know I mean it."

"Fuck you!" I muttered as I stood up stumbling over my own feet.

"I heard that!"

"Then fuck you twice."

I looked around trying to find Tammy and when I did the look in her face was something I had never seen before. She was looking at me in a way that I could tell she was obviously worried and feeling guilty at the same time.

All night long, for every kiss they shared, another shot was placed in front of me. I wasn't jealous of Jason for Tammy kissing him, I was mad at Tammy, not because she wasn't kissing me but because she was kissing Jason out of everyone in this world and that's the reason why she should feel guilty. If it wasn't because her I wouldn't be so drunk.