Stay | C.H. Fanfiction

Chapter 30 - Calum

I thought I'd feel better after talking to Sandra but I was wrong. I feel even worse after Sandra confirmed that Tammy does feel something when it comes to me and it wasn't all in my head. The crap my life became feels worse at everyday that goes by. A huge cage kept me held inside and in every corner I had a different problem... at first I thought my only problem was my feelings for Tammy, but then I found out about Tammy's abusive boyfriend, her forbidden feelings for me, being able to talk to anyone about everything... the list just goes on.

I had less than a month before Tammy flies back to America and I don't even know what to expect or to think about it. I don't know if I want her to leave Jason, if I want her to stay with me or if I want her to go home... I just want her to be safe.

I was putting the dishes in the washing machine when my phone started ringing. I dropped everything because the first thought that came to my head was that it could be Tammy. What if she needs me?

I grabbed my phone but Mali's name on the screen calmed my wild thoughts.

"Hello!"

"Hey Cal! How are you? I saw your phone call. I was asleep." Mali's voice was still groggy from sleep.

"I figured. It's fine, I just wanted to talk to you." I said recalling my phone call to Mali this morning.

"I'm I still in time? Is it important?"

"Mali... I'm a mess!" I said taking a big breath as I walked up to the window.

"Oh man... what did you do Cal?" Mali asked me in a worried tone.

"I'm in trouble... I mean, I meet someone Mali."

"You did? Do I know her?" The excitement in her voice was perceptible and it broke me to know that I was just about to ruin it for my own sister.

"No, you don't..."

"Wait, why is there a problem with that?" She asked me as I knew it was time to tell her.

"Because she has a boyfriend and we got involved and to make it worse that boyfriend is an asshole who doesn't know how to treat her."

"So now with her boyfriend around Tammy is completely scared and I'm scared to lose her." I admitted as Mali was shocked with everything I told her about me and Tammy and Tammy and Jason.

"You did mess up Cal and you shouldn't have promised her not to tell anyone about her boyfriend. Do you want me to talk to her?" Mali offered but I obviously couldn't accept.

"I can't let you do that. I just feel lost. I don't think I've ever experienced something like this and I know it's stupid, childish in fact but I don't want to give up on her."

"I know, I mean I understand but this is not in your hands. If Tammy doesn't let go of her boyfriend, it doesn't matter if it's out of fear or because she loves him because you do have to consider that option, there is nothing you can do. If she feels the way you feel for her Cal, she will have to choose. It's either you or Jason and there's no one else that can chose for her." Mali said reminding me why I love and hate her for the same reason.

Mali was always the voice of reason in my head. She was always the one putting my deepest thought into words and those were the thoughts I never want to face because she always tell the truth no matter how raw and hurtful it might be.

"What if she chooses him Mali?"

"You'll understand. If she does choose him, it's because it wasn't meant to be for you too. Besides if you really, really like her you won't be the one to hold her back from being whoever she wants. You're not that kind of guy." She said as I sat down on the couch. "Calum, can I ask you something?" Whenever Mali calls me Calum I know something serious is coming up.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Since you've been with Tammy, have you been... with someone else?"

"Are you asking me if I slept with another girl?" I put it in other terms just to make her uncomfortable but then I thought I was the one who's going to be uncomfortable answering this question... "Well... let's just say I tried."

"What do you mean you tried?"

"A couple of days ago I had to go back to my dorm to get a couple of things I forgot and when I was there Emily, Jackson's sister walked in looking for him. We started talking and when I realize we were both in bed but I could only think about Tammy and then I couldn't do anything with Emily. I know you don't want to know the details but I couldn't do it... physically. It was so embarrassing." I recalled that moment feeling ten times more embarrassed than I did before.

"You are so caught up... I never thought I'd live up to the day I'd see you like this but please save me to the details of your sex life. I really don't want to know." She said laughing. "You know what Cal? Just give it some time, that's all you can do right now."

"I guess you're right..."

"I'm always right in case you haven't noticed. Well I have to go to work."

"Thanks for listening Mali. I'll call you soon. With good news hopefully." I said but not sure what to expect about anything related to Tammy. I guess I just need to give it some time...