Stay | C.H. Fanfiction

Chapter 24 - Tammy

I walked into my hotel room and I could barely see through the tears in my eyes.

Right here, in Australia, in a dark hotel room in the middle of the night I finally admitted to myself that I've taken it too far. I took everything too far and now I feel like screaming and I'm too scared to say goodbye.

I walked in the dark and sat on the floor crying like I haven't in a while.

My problem isn't Calum, I already had a problem even before I met him.

My problem is Jason.

Now that I'm alone I can finally see the obvious. The way Jason treats me isn't right and I knew that but I was so blinded by what I felt for him before knowing the real Jason that I kept believing that the feelings were the same and Jason hadn't changed. I love the Jason he used to be when we started dating not the Jason who mistreats me, disrespects my friends, keeps me hidden and hits me like it happened before. I should have stopped it when I still had time, and that was when Jason hit me the first time when he was drunk and wanted to drive after the frat party we went to. He hit me and put our lives on the line. My life on the line.

Since then it really went down the hill with the constant "meaningless" insults and forbidding me of doing what I want. All of that... I saw all of that as "adapting" and it made me forget I never wanted a relationship based on adapting.

Then I came to Australia to visit Sandra, obviously against Jason's will. I met Calum and he listed to me, he cared and even when it comes to me he gave me experiences Jason refused to give me because my body is "too disgusting". Calum made me feel the way I was supposed to feel all the time... he made me feel like myself. My real self.

I knew it was wrong to get involved with Calum in the first place but he gave the attention I was craving and now he's like a drug, I just keep craving for more. One more touch, one more kiss, one more word, one more night...

Now that I've realized things with Jason can't keep going like this, I want to get out of this mess but I'm too scared something bad happens if I do. And if Jason ever finds out what I've done with Calum, then I'm domed. He will kill me and I'm scared he'll go after Calum too.

Part of me wants to believe I'm probably blowing everything out of proportion and Jason wouldn't do anything but the other part knows he would and I'm terrified. To make everything worse I can't tell the girls about my relationship and I feel like I'm walking down a dead end street.

I feel scared and alone.

I grabbed my phone and through the tears I tried to find his number and called him hoping he'd answer giving me some piece.

When I was about to hang up because I thought he wouldn't answer a miracle happened...

"What do you want?"

"You! I need a friend right now Calum... please... I really need... someone..." I said between sobs.

Everything was silent for a little while, a silence that wouldn't let me breathe.

"I can't help you Tammy I'm sorry..."

"But Cal..." I said as the line went dead. "...I need... you!"

Maybe Jason was right.

I shouldn't have come.

I was cold but I couldn't find the strength to get in bed. It was three in the morning and all I could do was look out the window from my bed wondering what could happen when Jason arrived. Would Sandra tell him or would it be Calum? Would he break up with me? Would he beat me? Most likely. I can already imagine him walking through that door and telling me how much of a whore I am... not that it isn't truth.

I heard a light tap and my first thought was "Jason's here!" but I knew it made no sense. I took a deep breath a wiped my face to my shirt. At an hour like this, the only person that could be is someone from the hotel staff.

I opened the door and, to my surprise, Calum was the one standing on the other side and I was speechless.

"I'll stay with you... but you have to tell me the truth." He said with the most soothing voice I've ever heard.

All I could do was nod because I couldn't believe Calum was here. Tears started forming in my eyes again and in less than a second I was engulfed in Calum's embrace.

"C'mon, let's get inside! Everything will be fine, I promise" He said pushing me inside but never letting go of me.

"No, it won't Cal. I messed up..." I said sitting at the edge of the bed.

"My sister is watching a show, I think it's called "This is Us", she loves it let me tell you, and I know it seems like it has nothing to do with this right now but she called me one of these days and we talked about the show and one of the characters said "take the sourest lemon life has to offer and turn it into something resembling lemonade", so nothing can't be that bad."

I wish I could be this optimistic but I know what I did and I know what I live everyday at home and I also know that there's no way I can make "something resembling lemonade" out of this.

"I promise." Calum said making me question what was he promising.

"What are you promising?" I watched Calum get down on his knees right in front of me carefully placing his hand on my cheek.

"I promise that nothing bad will ever happen."