The Diary Of A Teenage Girl [COMPLETED]

14/11

♪A Perfectly Good Heart - Taylor Swift♪
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I walked, shaking in the cold, gusts of wind tangling my chocolate coloured hair. Pulling my coat tighter around me, I wondered why on earth I was doing this. I think it was partly the fact I hadn't seen Xander in a week, partly the fact that I was starting to seem like I might be alright at kayaking. Regardless of all that, I still thought I was crazy.

"You okay?" He asked, catching my shiver out the corner of his eye, as we continued to walk towards the bus stop.

"Uh-huh. Just a bit cold." He came closer to me and put his arm around me. The action felt foreign to me, even though he was supposed to be my boyfriend. It just didn't feel like he was and it wasn't like 'oh my god we've only been going out for a few days, this doesn't feel real yet.' It was more like 'I barely ever see you, are you really still my boyfriend.'

"What are you doing this weekend?" I wondered if he was going to ask me to meet up with him if I was free, but I didn't think he would, he was just making small talk.

"Me and Vivi are going into town with Aiden, I think." Everything had become awkward since after he told me about his ex, even talking had become awkward. It was uncomfortable telling him about my weekend plans, even though I knew it shouldn't have been.

"Aiden? Aiden who?" Xander questioned.

"I don't know his last name. Vivi met him at the Halloween party." I started to wonder if Xander knew who this guy was. He knew a lot more people then I did, he was more sociable than me. Aiden could have been one of the guys Xander had been with that night, although I was sure I'd have recognised him if that was the case.

"Aiden Hawks?"

"Xander, I already said that I didn't know what his last name was." It confused me when people did that, when they continued to ask you questions when you'd already told them you didn't know. It was annoying. I'm sure my voice must have come out stroppy and fed up.

We'd finally got to the bus stop, after walking from school, but still had to wait a few minutes to turn up. I begged it would be quick. I wanted to get to the river as soon as possible.

"Aiden Hawks - blonde, goes to every party, fuckboy."

Well, that description seemed to fit him, I was certain there couldn't be that many Aiden's that looked like they played around with girls.

"Yeah, I think that's him," I answered, getting my pass out for the bus as I saw it approaching in the distance.

"Be careful around him, okay?" Xander got his pass out as well.

"Well it's not like I'm going to try anything with him, am I? I'm going out with you, or at least I think I am."

He looked at me speechless, trying to figure out what to say, but before he got the chance the bus pulled up.

We both got on and went to the back so we could carry on our conversation.

"Of course we're still together." He leaned in to kiss me but I pulled away. I wasn't going to let him kiss me just to prove a point. That's not why you kissed someone.

His eyebrows drew together in confusion, his face, usually smiley, turning to a frown.

"At least, I still want to be together. And I know you're not going to try anything with him but that doesn't stop him from trying to try something. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Well, he's not going to be the one to hurt me because I don't care about him." I snapped, completely over this bullshit.

"What's that supposed to mean?" His eyebrows were still drawn together and I wondered if they stayed like that for much longer if they would even be able to move back to their original place on his face.