The Diary Of A Teenage Girl [COMPLETED]

13/03

"Mei," Leiya said, stretching out the last part of my name, leaning onto the cafeteria table I was sitting at. "Come with me to the bathroom?"

I looked over at Hisashi, who I was in the middle of a conversation with. I was in two minds,  wanting to stay with Hisashi but also not wanting to be a bad friend to Leiya.

Hisashi was looking back at me, nodding at me to leave, his dark hair flopping against his forehead as he moved. The attractiveness of it made me want to stay even more but the conversation had pretty much ended now anyway.

I got up, climbing ungracefully out from between the table and the bench that was pushed way too close. Leiya hooked her arm through mine and started dragging me away.

"Right," she said, leaning in close to my ear. "The fuck is going on with you and Hisashi?"

I could feel all my blood rushing into my cheeks. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. The flirting. The looks you give each other."

I looked at her still unsure about what she meant. I mean, I knew we flirted but I'd definitely never noticed any looks. And anyway, Hisashi flirts with everyone, he'd flirted with me ever since I first met him.

"Yeah, but Hisashi just flirts with everyone."

"You don't though." She looked at me, accusatory. It was obvious she had already decided what was going on with me and Hisashi. Now she was just waiting for a confession from me.

"Right, well, I don't know what's going on. Maybe you should tell me." I sent her the same look back. I pushed the door to the bathroom open, unlinking arms with Leiya to get through.

"Do you like him?" She pulled me around so we were standing face to face. She stared at me deeply, her brown eyes searching for answers in mine.

I looked away, my brain not having the answers she was looking for, this was a question I wasn't prepared for yet. I hadn't thought it through. Of course I'd wondered about what my friendship with him meant, whether he was flirting with me for more reasons than just a bit of fun, but I'd always dismissed it. I'd never thought about whether I actually liked him.

"I don't know, does he like me?" I asked eventually. I was still looking away, my eyes flicking around the bathroom. There was graffiti on all the stall doors, love hearts shipping different people on some others were just covered in plain profanity.

"Hisashi's weird. I'm not sure if he's capable of ever really liking a girl right now."

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I'd spent all day thinking about what Leiya had told me. I wasn't sure if I liked Hisashi. I'd been through so much with boys this year I wasn't even sure I was ready to like someone new. Sprawled out on my bed, I rolled over, groaning. Why does life have to be so hard?

Hisashi was so good looking and he was so nice to me. But Leiya said she didn't know if he was capable of liking a girl and if anyone knew what was going on in his head it was Leiya. I didn't need to start liking a guy who was never going to like me back.

But every thought I had all came back to his face and his amazing smile. He was honestly one of the best looking people I'd ever seen. And not only that, he was also really nice.

That was exactly the problem though. He would completely break my heart if I let him. I needed to be careful, I didn't need my heart broken again.

My phone buzzed on my bed next to me where I was sitting, I had a Snapchat from Hisashi.

I opened the photo and it was a selfie, him sticking his tongue out at me. Even when he was trying to look bad he was attractive. His dark hair had flopped over his face, almost obscuring his almond brown eyes. It was different to the way he styled it to school but I liked it better. It also looked slightly damp, indicating he'd recently had a shower, which made me even more attracted to him. I tried to convince myself that finding him attractive didn't mean anything but I'm not sure it was working anymore. The caption read "how's you babe?" followed by a winky face and the laughing face.

My heart fluttered in my chest.

The way he flirted with me made me feel like we were more than just friends but, I'd learned from Aiden, boys didn't always see it that way.

I took a selfie back, holding two fingers up in a peace sign next to my face, replied with "worse now you've texted me." following it with two laughing face so he would know I'm joking.

His reply was almost instant.

I opened the photo to see him grinning at me, his caption reading: "love you too x."

I smiled, rolling my eyes. The kiss at the end sent more flutters through my chest. Maybe I did like him. Or maybe I just liked the attention. This is how I used to feel whenever Aiden would flirt with me so maybe it was just an attention thing. I hoped it was an attention thing, it would make life so much easier. Then I wouldn't have to face the fact that I'd fallen for yet another boy.

I replied with two facepalms and a kiss.