Chapter 24

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Ben

Varykino was surrounded by lush emerald meadows and a glistening mirror like lake that reflected the golden sun creating a golden blue colour to the lake. We had all stepped off the Falcon to be basked in the warmth of the Naboo country air. Miles from Theed but enough to be free from the woes of the past. It was dead here, in this small corner. Nothing could affect us and it never would.

I watched Rey from the balcony of our room. She had wondered down to the lake removing her boots and turned up her trousers to feel the warm water kiss her feet. It was worshipping her like the goddess she is and it made my insides constrict with a pang of jealousy. I could tell she was smiling with her eyes closed to the sun in a childlike awe.

I changed into a black shirt that wasn't as constricting as my fighting gear and my trousers were looser. It felt strange to wear such casual attire but very freeing simultaneously.

The door creeked open behind me. "Ben?" The voice was small and still unsure. I was still so unsure to here a term of endearment off the small child's lips and I could tell that she sensed that in me.

"Yes, Venus?" I felt her walk up beside me and my muscles tensed slightly. 

"Why are you shy?"

I looked at her, my eyes were wide and shocked at the clarity with which she could see through me for a child of her age. I noticed Rey had taken down her buns to allow her platinum hair to billow freely, it was long, down to her waist. "Shy?"

Venus nodded, I could hear her thoughts contemplating whether to call Rey 'mother' or simply Rey. It was for my benefit as opposed to hers and my heart warmed slightly towards her. "Rey said you aren't sure if you want to be my father."

She was blunt and straight to the point, how was she sure that Rey wasn't her biological mother? I didn't know how to tell her, make her understand. "I'm not a good man, Venus. And if you knew half the things that I had done, you wouldn't want me to be your father."

She stared at me, straight through me actually. "You have a good heart. Rey said you wanted to let the past die, wouldn't that make me and Baby and Rey your future?"

"A future is hard to accept just as much as forgetting the past."

"But your future is bright?"

"Only if we don't get found." My voice sounded distant. I was glum and Venus was right, the future was looking up for me, something I was unused to that I was sure it was a dream. Or a cruel joke that someone was playing on me. A deception to jangle the atrocities of my past in front of me with such an accepting family. 

"If who finds us?"

"The First Order. Rey and I are fugitives, Venus."

"And Kerra?"

I sighed and looked down at Rey from this great height. She was so peaceful and revelling in the opportunity. "She is safe."

"Ben?"

"Yes, Venus?"

"Would you tuck me into bed and read me a story please?"

I gave a small chuckle and obliged. "You don't have to call me Ben, Venus."

Venus smiled broadly, it was nice innocent smile and she said, "Okay, Papa."

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