Ch.14-Lost

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Shawn's P.O.V

Stepping into Beyoncé's house I felt relief when I saw she wasn't alone, Miss. Tina was sitting at the table in the kitchen while Beyoncé sat on the couch in the living room, emotionless, staring at nothing.

I begged and pleaded to stay with her after the miscarriage, but she insisted on being alone. Miss.Tina told me she had been there but I still felt relieved seeing her here, it's been two weeks.

Looking back at Miss.Tina, she nodded her head towards the back room so she could talk to me, listening I followed her to the hallway.

"Shawn, I've tried so hard to get her to open up, everybody has and she refuses to let anybody in, she's literally slept ate and sat there the whole time I've been here just blanked off into space, won't speak, won't even blink. I've only seen her this broken once before and she went to a really dark place, I don't want her to regress back to that place again Shawn can you please at least talk to her? for sanity's sake?"

"Yes Miss.Tina I will, I promise you and the rest of your family nothing will happen to her." Tina nodded then turned going into the guest room shutting the door.

I have never seen her like this before, so I don't really know what I'm getting into, but all I know is whatever that dark place was, I will not let her go back there.

Walking back into the living room I stood diagonally across from where Beyoncé sat.

"Bey...baby please talk to me we can't do this. Ok? I need you to please say something."

"Shawn I'm fine." she barely said above a whisper flatly.

"No your not Beyoncé. You're not fine how do you expect to heel from this at all if you won't let anybody be there for you?"

"I'm going to the bathroom." she said getting off the couch walking to the hallway.

Frustrated, I sat down on the couch rubbing my temples until I heard jingling car keys and the clicking of heels. Realizing what she was about to do I stood up seeing Beyoncé rush towards the front door in attempt to leave, but before she could get there I jumped in front of her wrapping my arms around her tight so she couldn't move.

"Let me GO! GET OF OF ME DAMMIT!" She struggled trying to hit me but failing.

I held on to her tight for about five minutes with her struggling and cursing, until she could no longer struggle or curse and broke down crying. My grip turned into a hug as she rested her head on my shoulder bawling hard.

"Bey, it was not your fault."

Suddenly I felt her body tense up as she pushed me off of her as hard as she could glaring at me with fire in her eyes.

"NO SHAWN DON'T FUCKING SAY THAT! IT IS MY GOD DAMN FAULT! I KILLED THIS BABY! I KILLED THE CHILD THAT YOU WANTED SO BADLY IT WAS ME! I COULDN'T HAVE YOUR CHILD BECAUSE THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME!" She screamed as her voice cracked looking at me with now hurt, confused, guilty, and depressed eyes.

"It's all my fault Shawn... I was having those pains and I should've said something but I didn't because I was to fucking scared!" she cried sounding discussed with herself.

"I let my own damn fear get in the way of my baby's health and I KILLED. HER. Shawn this will always be my fault this will never be anybody's fault but mine! And I have to live with this for the rest of my life." she broke down again crying into the palms of her hands falling to the floor on her knees.

I sat besides her pulling her into an embrace and she willingly leaned into my chest crying harder than I had ever seen.

"I killed our baby..." she cried again. sounding defeated.

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