IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD

Chapter 28- The Life I Have Lived

"Umm... No! I will not let you leave. I will chain you to this asylum or... or... or... Point is that I will kill you with my bare hands before I let them take you away! I will not suffer like that ever again! Do you hear me!" I realized that I had stood up and was screaming.

I sat back down in my seat as Rickey rolled around laughing. "It's not funny!" I said, giggling a bit myself. "On the contrary miss. It was friken hilarious!" I slapped him playfully and he sat up straight. "But umm... I was serious. They could take me away and I could become a crazy in orange."

"Oh balls no!" I said "Balls no?" Rickey questioned. "Heck yeah, balls no!" Rickey laughed even more when I said it the second time. He told me that I was the funniest crazy person he had ever met. I simply laughed and stared out the window.

I took a second to take in the look of the outside world. I struck me that I hadn't been outside in almost five years. And on top of that, I hadn't stared out any form of window in four of those years.

"How come we don't all have vitamin D deficiencies?" Rickey asked. "Because we all have bigger issues? Or maybe it is that we drink a lot of orange juice?" I said. He began chuckling and I asked him what was so funny.

"Orange juice is for vitamin C, stupid." Rickey said giggling. Then we returned to our normal activity of staring out of that big window that kept us so close yet so far from freedom that it baffled me.

I couldn't stop thinking about how annoying that glass wall was. My thoughts were torturing, to think about the outside world and all of the joy and pain within it that would be so frustratingly taken away from my childhood.

I knew that I would never have much of a childhood; I have a family situation that amounts to the activity and stress of eight childhoods combined.

But I guess that when you stare at one point you can make the the world shatter around you and create your own serene place, designed of all the broken pieces that you broke the outside world into.

My thoughts kept flowing constantly like a river, and I became lost in a trance of tranquil thought.

Rickey snapped his fingers a front my face and pulled me from my newly made world. I blinked my dry eyes and turned towards Rickey. The real world felt crappy compared to my paradise of perfect construction.

"Did you hear a single word I just said?" Rickey questioned. "Absolutely not!" I admitted cheerfully. "I said I think I know why I was gone for four years and I think I know why Project Intelligence did it." "So I am guessing that it was an element of Project Intelligence that took you away for four years. So, what, they like wanted to see how we functioned apart after being together?"

He smiled," Indeed, Katrina. The ass-hats who are keeping us in this stupid box were only experimenting on us yet again. The nerve they have to have tested five year old's." I nodded in agreement.

We then resumed our silent activity of staring into the freedom that could never be ours. We sat in silence for, believe it or not, three hours. Finally, Rickey spoke up and asked me a question that seemed to make him angry.

"So who was the guy?" He asked, not making eye contact. "You mean Damian?" I asked. "Is that the guys name? He is what, like twelve?" "Eleven. You jealous?" I asked smiling and giggling.  "Me? Jealous? Gosh no. And what would I be jealous of?"

I could tell that there was something that I didn't know about going on in Rickey's head but I am not one for knowing emotions so I remained in the dark about what was going on in his mind. He just seemed off after I made the comment.

He then didn't say a word and wouldn't make eye contact with me until dinner.

We sat at our usual little table in the common room and eat something that I don't even remember. I started to ask questions as Rickey began to slip into a sink hole of thought. You could see his eyes get stormy and distant the more we didn't talk.

"So, what do you know about the Project so far? It seems to be a total crap system devoted to treating us like alien life forms." I smiled at him but he didn't laugh. He didn't emote at all ; He just sat there looking at me with a blankness in his eyes as if he was trying to shut me out.

"Okay, either talk to me or get up and leave! I am sorry if what I said offended you! I was joking! So either suck it up and talk to me or get off your butt and leave! Don't just sit there and be that douche who hears every word you say, and then ignores you!" He snapped out of his haze.

Quickly he stood up and looked wildly around. I saw panic and light in his eyes as he scanned the room frantically. I stood up and watched as his eyes darted around the large room. He seemed to be looking for something. I finally took a step towards him and grabbed his hand.

He stopped and looked down at our laced fingers. His eyes then dashed up my arm and locked onto my eyes. "Thank Jesus!" He whispered, exhaling in a sigh of relief. "What in the name of God knows what, just happened?" I asked.

"I got kinda sucked into looking around in minds. I was digging for Project Intelligence in minds of people all over. I found several men and women who are like watching us and have files of us and write reports on our reactions. It was like they have been watching our every move." He was speaking fast and got a scared look in his eyes.

"Slow down Rickey," I said pulling my hand from his. The faster he talked, the tighter he squeezed my hand. He then looked to the ground and brought his eyes up my body slowly. "I saw things that I have seen in dreams and things that are happening now and things that will happen," He paused and inhaled deeply," Let's just say that I am glad to see you okay. And far from Damian Avery."

I gasped and took a step back. I thought hard for a moment, then spoke.

"You know about Damian, too?" I asked getting a bit more serious. "Yes. I saw in a couple dreams but it is when he is older. And you are there with him a lot." "I know. He has something to do with all of this, what ever it is. I am not sure how but Damian is linked in this too."

"So what did you find about Project intelligence?" I asked. Then, a voice came on in my head.

I think that it is safer if I tell you like this. Don't say anything, just listen. I saw a file, two files actually, and they were about us. They were huge and had mounds of paper in them that were all hand written notes. I couldn't read them but I know that they have been watching us and tracking all that we do.

They have multiple camera's in our rooms and they record our every move, our every word. I saw so many pages of notes about all that has happened since you got here. And even when I left, they were still watching me and you.

And one other really important thing is that it isn't called Project Intelligence. It is called the Eastern Sanitarium Investigation. They are trying to see how we react in this situation and if we will become violent if contained or denied things we want. They want to try and find out what our entities are.

Rickey stopped speaking and we both reached up and rubbed our foreheads and temples. "Dammit!" We both exclaimed. "That hurts like crap," I said. "Indeed, Miss Kay. Indeed," He responded with a smile.

"So what do we do? Just let them watch us like we are zoo animals? That isn't even right! People are in this place for real treatment of real conditions and problems," We both shook our heads in annoyance and frustration.

Rickey gasped and looked at me with hope. "What?!?!" I asked, the anticipation killing me.  He paused and seemed to gather his thoughts.

"We put on a show and do nothing. Only talk to people when we go to the things on Thursdays or whatever and then only talk in our heads. We don't give them anything to watch. Shut down and don't do a lot of things and then we see how they react to their little experiment being blown up right in front of them. If we don't act like us, they don't get the information they need."

I smiled in agreement but then stopped and scrunched my eyebrows down. "No," I said. "No? What is no? They don't deserve to watch us and use us!" I waited another moment and thought hard until an idea came to me.

"I have a better idea."

****Authors Note****

Sorry I haven't posted lately... I have been busy. AND sorry for this chapter being kinda boring... But don't worry! The excitement picks up when you find out more about the Damian Thing!