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┈TRIGGER WARNING: CONTAINS SCENES OF SELFHARM┈
Jeno was staring at the tin case in front of him.
He was sitting cross-legged on his bed, big headphones on his ears and Neck Deep blasting in his ears. Tears were rolling down his cheeks while his trembling fingers went to open the tin case. The deadly blades were grinning evilly at the young boy and the demons in his head were yelling at him to do it.
Hurt yourself, they said. Renjun hates you, they continued. You're useless. No wonder Donghyuck wanted to keep Renjun away from you. Not even Jaemin likes you. You're just a nuisance. Jeno bit his lip, taking his hands away from the tin case and sitting down on them.
The day had been horrible. Jeno never wanted to fight Donghyuck, but when he saw the younger lad grabbing Renjun this harshly something in his head clicked. He couldn't just let Donghyuck take Renjun away. Renjun wanted to hang out with him and Jaemin. But now... Jeno bit his lip so the sobs wouldn't leave his mouth and wake his family.
As if they would care.
A snicker left Jeno's mouth as his hand automatically went to grab one of the blades. His parents wouldn't care if he cried. Nor would Renjun come back to him, after he was the reason for him to pass out. You probably killed him, one of the demons in Jeno's head hissed and the young boy chuckled and looked at the blade in his hand.
He even had to laugh once red was dripping off his arm.
He watched the blood roll down to his hand and widen his arms once the stinging pain reached his numb brain. His hand dropped the blade and he scooted away from the demons that were sitting in that tin case. A sob left his mouth and he watched the cut on his arm.
It was pretty deep and Jeno felt sick. He opened his mouth but no sound left his lips. He needed help. He never intended to do that. He had this tin case for one year but tonight was the first time he really hurt him. One cut was all it took to make Jeno fall down in a rabbit hole of emotions.
All of a sudden he whispered his sister's name. His voice getting louder with each call and soon the door opened and his older sister rushed inside, her hair messy and dark rings under her eyes.
She scanned the room and saw the glinting case in the corner of the bed and Jeno sitting on his pillow, holding his left arm that was covered in blood. She gasped quietly and walked over, taking Jeno's headphones off and holding his arm.
His blood was dripping on her white nightgown and Jeno opened his mouth. "Your nightgown." He said quietly but his Noona shook her head. "Fuck the nightgown." She spoke harshly and looked around until she found a towel behind Jeno's door.
His Noona had cleaned the mess in his room and attended his wound in more than fifteen minutes without judging him. Afterward she sat down next to him and petted his black hair. "Why would you hurt yourself?" She asked quietly and enjoyed that Jeno was cuddling into her. "I was feeling helpless." He answered and sat up to look at his sister.
"I took the case away. Don't worry." She spoke and Jeno nodded. Then she looked at him and slowly lifted the hem of her nightgown showing her thighs. Jeno watched his sister and widened his eyes when he saw the scars on his Noona's thighs. "Noona!" He gasped but his sister only smiled.
"I never wanted Mum and Dad favoriting me. I hate them for neglecting you. I hate me for not stopping them." His Noona opened up. "And I hate me for making you want to be distant to me." She finished and Jeno looked down. He never really thought of how his sister thought about all this. And now he knew she wasn't feeling any different.
"Go and sleep, Jeno." His Noona spoke and gently stroked his hair. "I'll stay with you until you fell asleep. The demons won't get you. I promise."
