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Renjun's heart felt heavy when he stared at the mansion in front of him. His house felt more like a prison to the eighteen year old than the old and shabby hideout of him and his friends.
With heavy steps he walked to the front door rummaging for his keys when the door got opened up by his Mother. A woman that looked very stressed and exhausted.
Carefully she wrapped her arms around his thin frame only to let out a sigh. "You were with those problematic kids again. You smell like alcohol. Didn't I tell you to stop meeting them?" His Mum ranted and ranted and Renjun held his ears tightly. "Oh just stop!" He begged and patted his heart over his chest; a nervous habit of him.
His mother took the habit wrong and gasped. "Is it your heart? Do you need your pills? It's because you drank, right?" The woman pulled him towards his bedroom, not giving him the chance of taking off his shoes or coat. She placed him on his bed and Renjun sighed, while he watched his Mum put three different bottles of pills in front of him.
He didn't really hate his mother. But he hated the way she treated her. He was only fourteen when his younger brother passed away. His younger brother that was like a best friend to him. The day he heard the news he had his very first stress-induced cardiomyopathy.
The doctor later told Renjun it's called "Broken Heart Syndrome" as his family and he, himself, thought he had a heart attack. "It heals within a week." The doctor had promised but it didn't. After a week, Renjun had another strike and this time more painful than before.
Now, four years later, the boy was still suffering from his illness tied with a depression that was hard to talk about.
"Mum, I don't want to take them now."
He whispered when his mother hold two blue pills in his direction. "I want to sleep." He continued and his Mother looked at him and watched him turn around in his bed. With a sigh she left the pills on the bedside table and left.
Renjun sighed and rolled himself into a ball. His mind immediately rushing to Na Jaemin and how empty he had looked at him when he departed from the friends.
Sure he was tipsy from the Jaegermeister but it didn't stop Renjun from having a warm feeling in his stomach. He had hugged him! And that was enough for Renjun to see his world in colour for once. He didn't knew when and why he started to think of Jaemin differently but it just happened and thankfully Jeno and Donghyuck kept quiet about his ... concern.
"I'm not even allowed to hate my life." He whispered and closed his eyes trying to ignore the growing pain in his chest.
