Chapter 18 ✰ Love, Fear And Everything In Between

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Jen's pov

I didn't know if I ended up in another dream or in another nightmare. I was trapped in a nightmare for weeks. Shaking. Trembling. Terrified. Afraid. Scared. My nightmare didn't happen just once. It started over and over every single day.

'They found Colin' it echoed through my mind ever since we left the hotel room. The hotel room were Jack probably still is. The hotel room were he kissed me and my mother-in-law caught us together. She hasn't said a word to me since that moment and I couldn't even blame her. She saw her pregnant daughter-in-law cheating on her son and we don't even know how he is doing right now.

I sat in the backseat of the car and stared outside, thinking of our past. It wasn't the first time I kissed someone else in our relationship (A/N: you can read what happened back then in 'Unscripted' 😉). Sometimes I wish that I could be a better me, for you.

After what felt like hours of driving we arrived at the hospital. I was always excited to see him, but this time I was incredibly nervous. We went inside and were welcomed by a police officer. 'The O'Donoghue family?'. We all nodded, but I had to withhold myself from giggling. Colin was always annoyed when people didn't pronounce his surname the right way and this officer clearly didn't do it right.

He guided us through a long hallway before he stopped in front of a door. A beautiful looking nurse came to us and explained his situation. 'Unfortunately, we don't know what happened to him. He was awake when we found him and we tried to talk to him, but he was in shock.'

'How bad is it?' his mom asked in a broken voice.

The nurse smiled kindly. 'He's exhausted, but I think the problems are mostly mentally. He has some pretty bad bruises and a concussion, but he'll be alright.'

I sighed with relief. 'Can we see him?'

The nurse nodded. 'Sure, but keep it simple. He is fast asleep now and he might probably not even hear you but he has been through a lot.'

I opened the door and did not know if I should be nervous, relieved or startled. I felt the same reaction behind me. Colin lay on the bed, but not the Colin we all knew. He was emaciated and was covered in bruises and scratches. 'Oh, honey...' his mom started in tears. '...what did they do to you?'

I walked to the side of the bed and grabbed his cold hand in mine as the tears ran down my cheeks. His dad wrapped his arms around his wife and together they stared at their bruised son on the hospital bed. After a while, he cleared his throat. 'We're going to get some coffee. Do you want some Jen?' I nodded gratefully and turned to Colin again.

'I'm so sorry, Colin...' I started but of course he didn't respond.

'I'm such a stupid bitch sometimes... I'm jealous because I'm afraid someone can please you more than me. I guess it's my insecurities acting op a bit because I know I'm not the most beautiful, most fun or even most exciting woman.'

Tears were running down my face again. 'I'm a big mess and that's the last thing you need right now... but this mess loves you endlessly.'

I sniffed at the thought that he probably could not even hear me. I wanted to get up to go to his parents when I felt his hand gently squeezing into mine. My eyes widened and my hand reached for the emergency button, but his voice interrupted me.

'Don't' he said barely a whisper.

His eyes were still closed and I wondered if it really happened or whether I was dreaming. 'Colin?'

He smiled faintly as he slowly opened his eyes.

'I need to get a nurse'

I finally saw his beautiful eyes again but they were dull and tired. They missed the sparkle they always had and I was shocked. I had seen him in difficult times, but never like this. 'Don't do it' he repeated.

'Why not? They need to check on you'

'I just want to enjoy this moment. With you, without people asking me everything all the time.'

He caressed the top of my hand with his thumb. 'Where's Ivy?'

I smiled. Of course, he would ask for his little girl. 'She is back home with my parents'

'Can she come by?'

My eyes widened. 'She's never been on a plane. I don't think we can manage it right now, but I have pic..'

I said as I grabbed my phone but he interrupted me. 'Plane? Why would she come by plane?'

'Because she can't come by car to Italy'

'Italy? Why are we in Italy?'

It was even worse than I thought. 'You were here for work but you didn't come back'

He quirked his eyebrows. 'We're we in a quarrel? I'd always come back to you'

I carefully stroked his face with my hand. 'I'll tell you everything when you're home. You need to rest.'

He cupped my hand with his as he stared at my belly. 'How is he doing?'

'There's nothing to worry about, handsome'

A smile appeared on his face. 'Someone knocked the handsome out of me'

I placed my lips on his. 'No one is that powerful'

♥♥♥

A/N: I just had to put in that cute dialogue from season 5 🙈

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