Supernatural Imagines 2

Pandemic (Castiel ft. Winchesters)

Battling out against Leviathans from Purrgatory.

Chasing around for the Demon and Angel tablets... and dealing with Crowley.

Living with being a temporary human while the Angels were after me for locking them out of Heaven and getting rid of their wings.

Saving Dean from being a demon.

Defeating Amara and ths Darkness.

Tracking down Kelly Kline and Lucifer to make sure his Nephilim child wouldn't turn bad. Jack... he was a wonderful young man, who I am very proud off.

He had disappeared after the Winchesters took ill, claiming to search for a cure. Without my wings or any will to continue, I gave up on finding him.

I had to take care of [y/n], especially after she fell ill with that treacherous disease too.

Thinking about past events, it leaves me sulking. I was led astray, confused and naive by the many people I encountered. I caused all the problems while all I wanted was a peaceful dwelling on Earth with the ones I admired.

[y/n] told me that the world is a temporary place of stay, and that Heaven... Heaven's there forever. She was such a positive soul, without her I can't... I don't know what to do.

Sometimes I walk around the Bunker, every corner triggers a memory with my family. Looking at the chair across me, I remember a casual time when [y/n] brought in a bowl of popcorn with Dean following behind, a large bottle of high-sugar cola in his arms, holding it like a child. I warned him about the cavaties he could suffer from, unaware of the greater calamity he'd be punished with.

'Killjoy', I can't help but think about Croatoan when the word comes to mind. It feels as if this disease is worse than the one that could have been.

Being pure and immune us far more of torture than being dead at this stage of life. Being an Angel I didn't get infected but I always find myself thinking about suicide.

Is it really a way out?

When Angels die we end up in The Empty. I won't be with my loved ones but I won't have to think about them and how I will never really see them with me forever, except when visiting Heaven.

I had surprised them one day. I visited Dean first then Sam, they both were thrilled. I was beyond relieved to find [y/n] well and I spent a decent time with her up in her Heaven getting to know her again.

I truly missed every inch of her perfection.

I glance at my Angel blade form time to time, wondering if I would ever regret stabbing myself and ending this misery.

Would it really be worth it?

I feel a drop of water on the surface of my hand. I didn't realise that I had started to cry.

Sometimes I can't seem to control these emotions. Even for an Angel, it's heart breaking.

I think about my failures, how, in a way, I failed to give my best and protect my family.

I failed at making sure my family was safe, and that's the worst thing I could do.

I stand up from my seat  and look around the library. I think about a way I could make myself feel better.

So now, I put my trench coat back on after picking it up from the chair by the table, to search for a new purpose in life.

One that I wish I can succeed at.