What Lies Ahead

Chapter 52

I haven't felt like myself at all. I've felt guilty, but I'm too afraid to tell Ezra what happened. Ezra hasn't said anything, so I don't think he knows. Today is Leon and Chloe's birthday party though, so I have to put my feelings aside for them.

"Good morning," Ezra smiles, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close. 

I smile and he kisses the back of my head.

"Good morning. Are you ready for today?" I ask. 

"I'm excited to see them eat cake and make a mess," Ezra chuckles. 

I kiss his forehead and make my way into the babies room. I see them sound asleep, and I watch them, smiling at how peaceful they seem. 

"How did I get so lucky?" Ezra asks, coming up behind me, looking at the babies and I.

"You're sweet," I smile, even though I'm aching inside. 

"Hey mom. How are you feeling?" I ask, as I step inside my parents house. 

Mom's getting worse, and the doctors don't think she has much time left. She's gotten so thin and weak she can't even pick up Chloe or Leon.

"Today's a better day. I'll have both my babies and grand babies in the house with me," she smiles.

I put Leon and Chloe down in their playpen and give my mom a hug. I don't want to think about the little time we have left together. 

"Hey Jo," Jesse smiles, walking down the stairs. 

"How are you?" I ask, giving him a hug. 

"I've been better, but I'm making it," he says. 

Jesse's been putting on a brave face, but I know mom's declining health is getting to him like it is all of us. 

"Where's dad?" I ask. 

"He went to pick up the cake," mom says.

"I thought I told you Ricky was bringing some?" I ask her. 

"Well, we never got to celebrate your birthday. You've been so worried about everyone else lately, so we thought we'd celebrate you today too," mom smiles.

"Y'all are so sweet," I smile. 

The doorbell rings, and I practically run to answer it.

"You all made it," I smile, throwing my arms around Paige, Luke, and Chase.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Luke smiles. 

"Come in," I grin, stepping aside to let them enter. 

They make there rounds greeting everyone, and I make my way to the driveway when I see Ricky's truck pull up. 

"We need to talk," I say, as he steps out. 

"Hey Jo," Clay says from the other side. 

"Oh, hey Clay! I didn't know you'd be here," I say, walking over to give him a hug. 

We all walk inside, and everyone says their hellos. Ricky picks up Leon and then Chloe, giving them both kisses. He's such a sweet dad.

Jesse and I go outside and set the table. 

"What's been going on lately?" Jesse asks.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I'm your brother, and I've known you my whole life. I can tell when something is wrong."

I sigh, and I know I won't be able to get out of this one.

"Ricky kissed me, again, but I didn't stop him. I don't know what I want. Yeah, Ricky cheated on me, but he is the father of my kids, and a part of me will always love him. Ezra on the other hand is the sweetest guy I've ever known. I don't want to drag Ezra along, but I worry that if I let him go, I'll end up making the biggest mistake of my life," I say. 

"You know I like Ezra better, but you have to make that decision for yourself. Just don't string Ezra along. It's better to have him around rather than have him hate you," Jesse says. 

"I know. I'm going to talk to Ricky today, and see if that makes me feel any better," I sigh. 

"You'll make the right choice. I know you will."

Yeah, I sure hope so. 

"Time for cake!" my mom smiles, clapping her hands together as we finish eating. 

"I'll go get them," I smile, standing up. 

"I'll help," Ricky says, following me inside. 

"Can we talk?" I ask Ricky, once we get inside and in the clear.

"Yeah, of course," he says.

"I can't stop thinking about that kiss. Ricky, you're the father of my kids, and you'll always have a piece of my heart, but we can't keep doing this. You cheated one me. That was the worst pain that I've ever felt in my life. I don't know if I can trust you. Then there's Ezra. Ezra is the perfect guy. He's sweet, and he's accepting of me and my children. I don't want to keep stringing him along like this. We need to figure out something," I say, finally releasing a weight off my shoulders. 

"I didn't cheat on you Jo."

"What?" I question, wondering if I just heard what I think I did.

"When I left you, I had to go back to my hometown because of legal trouble I was in. I didn't know how long I'd be down there, and I didn't know if I was going to jail or not. What I was in trouble for wasn't my fault. I was just simply at the wrong place at the wrong time. When I was down there, the guy finally confessed that I had nothing to do with what happened, and all the charges were dropped. Before I went down there, I thought I was going to jail. I just didn't want to tell you, because I figured it'd be easier if you hated me," he says, confessing. 

"Why didn't you tell me that?" I ask, and my eyes become watery. 

"You were moving on, and I wanted to let you, but I still love you, and the selfish part of me wants my family back."

"What about Ezra?" I say. 

"I don't want to hurt him," Ricky says. 

"Look Ricky, I don't know what I want. I'm not saying yes to you, but I'm also not saying no. I just need time," I say, trying to take in everything that just happened. 

Ricky and I grab the cakes. As soon as I turn the corner, I see Ezra standing there, the most hurtful look anyone could have on his face. I gasp, and I don't know what to say.

"You kissed him?" Ezra says. 

"Ezra please," I say, putting the cake down. 

I try to grab his arm, but he yanks it back. 

"You don't know what you want? I'm not a pawn in your little game," Ezra says, keeping his voice low, as to not gain anyone's attention. 

"It's not a game Ezra! Don't you know how hard this is for me?" I say, and I can't stop the tears from coming. 

"I get that. I do. But you can't expect me to wait around while you play games with Ricky. Just be with Ricky. I'll step out of the picture, and you're decision will be that much easier," Ezra says, grabbing his car keys. 

"Ezra, please don't go," I croak. 

"Sorry Jo, but I don't want to be a part of this," he says calmly, walking out the door.

Once that door shuts, my heart aches, and it feels like Ezra is walking out of my life for good.