You & Me

Chapter Thirty

Georgie's Point of View

I've never felt so betrayed in my life. How am I suppose to believe in a legal system that let a rapist go? They failed me. They blamed me. I can't help but begin to blame myself. Is what Hucksly was insisting true. Was it my fault? Because it sure as hell feels like it was now.

"Joey was it my fault?" I ask.

"No Georgie," he says.

"Was I asking for it?"

"Georgia, listen to me. It is not your fault. You were not asking for it. You said no," he tells me.

"They said it so much in that courtroom today that I couldn't help, but start to believe it," I tell him.

He pulls me into a hug and sighs. "I don't know how to make this better for you Georgie," he says.

"I don't know how to make this better for myself, so I don't know," I say.

"Why don't you go take a shower honey," he suggests. I nod my head. "Here I'll get it ready for you."

He gets up and turns the shower on for me. He walks back into the room, and kneels down in front of me. He takes my hands in his. "You ready baby?" He asks.

I stand up and walk into the bathroom. "I'll be in here if you need me," he says. I nod my head and shut the door.

I strip down and step into the burning hot water. The only reason I know it's burning hot is the steam, and the way it turns my skin red because I am numb. I can't help, but wonder where is God in all of this?

I've never been a strict religious person, but I can't help but wonder why? Why would he, or whoever is up there, do this to me? Why would he let my rapist walk free?

What is all this for? What was the point of speaking out if Clay was just going to get away with it? What was the purpose of this whole ordeal?

Is it worth it? Is the pain of speaking out worth the repercussions brought upon by a failed justice system? A system that is promoting sexual assault. A system that allows privilege, race, and gender to get in the way of justice.

I step out of the shower and stare at myself in the mirror. I have makeup running down my face, and my eyes are dull and lifeless. My skin is pale, and my cheeks seem hallow. I'm a shell of who I was before I walked in that courtroom. They stripped away my life.

There is a knock on the door. "Georgie you okay in there?" Joey calls from the other side of the door.

I open the door, and he quickly looks away. "Um I can go, so you can get dressed," he says walking towards the door.

I grab his hand to stop him. He looks down at the ground to avoid looking at me. "Please stay," I whisper. He wraps his arms around me in a hug, and I hold him tightly. Tears stream down my face, but I'm too numb to do much else.

"Lets get you to bed," he says. I refuse to let him go. I cling to him like he's the last lifeboat on a sinking ship. He pries my hands from his shirt as he takes it off. He pulls it over me and picks me up, bridal style.

He walks me over to my bed and sets me down, and I cling to his arms. "I'll be right back," he says. I lay there as he goes to my dresser and gets some underwear and a pair of sleeping shorts. He slips them over my legs and lays down next to me when he's done.

"Everything will be okay," he tells me, pulling me close to him.

"Will it?" I counter. "Nothing about this is okay."

He holds me tighter. "You're a survivor. You can do this," he tells me.

"What if I can't? What if I'm tired of surviving?" I say. He doesn't say anything. He just holds me tight, which I appreciate. I'm tired of talking.

There's a knock on the door; Stone and Wendy walk in, and crawl on the bed with us.

"The U.S. justice system fucking sucks," Stone states.

"Tell me about it," I deadpan.

"Avenged Sevenfold are going to be in Orlando this weekend," Wendy says.

"That's the best news I've heard all day," I tell them.

"Yeah I got us tickets," she replies.

"Wendy that's, you didn't have to," I say.

"My best friend was just screwed over by the system that was suppose to help her. I did," she says.

I sigh. "I really thought they would convict him."

"We did too Georgette," Stone says.

"And I get to do this all over again in two weeks," I say sadly.

"Hey," Joey says taking my hand in his. "You're not alone in this Georgie."

I nod my head. "I know."

"If you need anything, I'm just a phone call away Blondie," Wendy says.

"Thanks Wen," I say.

"We got your back Georgette," Stone says.

"I know. Y'all always do," I say with a small smile.

"We always will," he says.

I smile at him. "Well we'll let you two have some space," Wendy says as her and Stone get up. They hug me, then leave.

"Why don't you get some sleep baby? You've had a rough day," Joey says.

"Okay, but will you stay so I can cuddle you?" I ask.

"Of course honey," he says.

I lay my head on his chest as he holds me close to him. "I'm so glad you're here Joey," I tell him.

"I wouldn't wanna be anywhere else Georgie," he says.

"I appreciate you and everything you so do for me so much," I tell him.

"I'd do anything for you Georgia. No questions asked," he says.

"I know you will Joey," I say as I slowly fall asleep.