Cleaning

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TW: Mentions of suicide.

Connor had realised that the house had become extremely messy since Abby's fourth birthday. She had received a mountain of gifts. Again.

So that morning at breakfast, Connor decided he wanted to do something about it.

"We really need to clean out this house. It's a mess and we have way too much stuff."

"Cleaning? Eww," Abby commented.

"I agree," Evan said, looking at Abby. Then he looked at Connor. "But it has to be done."

"After breakfast, I'll clean out our room, and you can help Abby and Charlie clean out their rooms?" Connor suggested. Evan nodded.

The family finished their breakfast and then headed upstairs. Evan held Abby and Charlie's hands as they walked into Abby's room. "Let's start with your room."

Connor continued walking down the hallway to his and Evan's room. He started at their clothes cupboard.

He started by taking all of their clothes out of the cupboard and placing them in a heap on their bed.

The first item of clothing he picked up was Evan's old blue and white polo shirt. He smiled and hung it back up in the cupboard.

He continued until most of the clothes had been hung back up and there was a small pile of clothes on the bed. Connor decided he would ask their friends and family if they wanted any of the clothes, then donate to charities.

There was a small plastic box in the corner of the cupboard. He pulled it out then placed it on the bed.

Inside were three folders: a blue one, a green one and a purple one.

He opened the blue folder and saw that they were the letters Evan used to write to himself for his therapist. He closed the folder and placed it on the bed. The green folder held the same contents as the blue folder. He assumed the purple folder would be the same, however when he opened it, the first letter was out of place.

It wasn't one of Evan's old therapy letters.

It was a different type of letter.

Mom,

First of all, I'd like to say I'm sorry. I couldn't do it anymore. I felt alone, I had no friends, the therapy wasn't working... I had lost all hope. This is why I'm doing this. I'll no longer feel alone. No longer be a burden to you. You won't have to waste money on me anymore.

However, I know you. I know you'll blame yourself. I don't want you to do that. When you can, try and move on. Live a great life. I want you to be happy. You deserve all the happiness the world had to offer.

Once again, I'm sorry. I love you.

Evan xx

After he read the letter, Connor realised he was crying. He immediately knew when Evan wrote the note.

It was the note Connor had found in Evan's pocket when they first met, the note Connor made him promise to burn.

Connor folded the note and wiped the tears out of his eyes, then walked to Abby's room, where the three were playing with some of Abby's new toys.

Evan looked up at Connor. "I swear, we were cleaning."

Connor cleared his throat. "Could I talk to you for a second?"

Evan nodded, then walked out the room. Connor pulled him down the hallway a bit so Abby and Charlie wouldn't be able to eavesdrop, even though he knew they wouldn't.

Connor held the folded not between two of his fingers. "You said you were going to burn this. Or get rid of it, at least."

Evan looked confused, but then his face flooded with realisation. "I'm sure I did... It must've gotten mixed up with my therapy notes somehow."

Connor was looking at the floor, still with a sad expression on his face.

"Hey," Evan said, wrapping Connor in a hug. "You know I wouldn't try to do anything like this again, right?"

Connor nodded. "I know," he said. "Just the thought of losing you..." Connor began to cry again.

"Hey, it's okay. Everything's okay."

"Why are you crying?" They heard Abby say. They pulled away from their hug and looked at their daughters, who were standing together.

"Your papa has had enough of cleaning," Evan exclaimed. "How about we play games for the rest of the day, and roast marshmallows in the fireplace after dinner?"

Abby and Charlie liked that plan, and the family walked into Abby's room.

***

Later that night, after dinner, the Hansen's sat around the fireplace with a bag of marshmallows and their fire sticks.

Connor felt Evan tap his shoulder and saw Evan holding the note. He scrunched it up and threw it in the fire. Connor smiled. "Thank-you." He kissed Evan.

"Anything for you," Evan replied when they pulled away.

Connor ripped the bag of marshmallows open and gave one to Abby, Charlie and Evan. He then took one for himself and the held them over the fire.

Evan helped Charlie hold hers, however Abby wanted to roast hers by herself.

Abby's caught on fire.

She quickly pulled it out of the fire, with Connor's help, and he blew it out.

"You can still eat it," Connor explained. "Just wait for it to cool down."

Evan helped Charlie take hers out the fire and she tried to cool it down. Soon, her hands and face were a gooey mess of pink marshmallow.

Connor laughed.

"Not funny!" Charlie said, giggling.

Soon they were all laughing. For the rest of the night, they sat around the fireplace, eating marshmallows and laughing.

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