44/ We're All In This Together

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I really hope that the advice given in this chapter will never have to be used for your sake, but I think it's really important that as teenagers we know how to deal with difficult situations that arise. From running this account, but also from real life, I have encountered and advised multiple people how to cope with depression, suicidal thoughts, self-harming etc. If someone comes to you asking for help because they are dealing with something like this, you need to be able to cope with this situation in a calm and rational way.

I think a lot of our first reactions when someone tells us that they're self-harming, thinking about suicide etc. is to go into panic mode but this isn't helpful for anyone. Your first piece of advice to give should always be that this friend needs to tell an adult. As teenagers there is only so much we can do on our own, and when adults get involved I tend to find that the situation is calmed down and sorted much quicker.

Tell your friend or whoever is coming to you for help to either tell their parent/guardian, the school counsellor or a trusted teacher, or call hotline which deals with cases like theirs. Things like depression, anxiety, anorexia etc. don't just go away. Professional help and the right adult intervention can prevent things getting out of hand. This may not seem like an option to your friend, but you need to persuade them to do this.

The second thing you need to do when someone comes to you about a serious problem is to be there for them. Being there to talk, being someone they can trust, will help them massively. Bottling up emotions isn't healthy for any of us, so being that outlet which they can vent to will help them come to terms with the root causes of their problems and also help them on the path to recovery.

Thirdly, make sure that you keep your mental health in good shape as well. When someone comes to you with a particularly saddening problem, it can take a toil on your own mental health because you feel obliged to be with this person every step of the way through recovery. Take time for yourself, and make sure you're looking after yourself as well.

So rule forty-four of surviving Teenagehood: be there for your friends, don't run away because times get too tough.

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