four

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TRIGGER WARNING: SA

avalyn sparrow

It was stupid of me to believe that Seth would ever invite me over to his house to just talk. There's never just talking when it comes to Seth, but I thought this time would be different. I'm never naive like this, but I always try to see the best in him because he never used to be like this. I see him as the version of himself he was when we first met.

Seth used to be the perfect boyfriend. He treated me well and always defended me when my father mistreated me. I was sure I would break the cycle of women in my family being with abusive men. I thought I was above it all or I was immune because I could never let a man treat me poorly. Not even I saw how my father treats my mother. But when Seth's parents passed away after a car accident a few years ago, something in Seth shifted. I thought it was temporary so I wanted to stick by him as best I can because that's all he's ever done for me. But he's never been the same.

"Seth, you're hurting me," I tried forcing myself out of his grip but he had a firm hold on my waist. His breath reeked of beer. It's always alcohol bringing out the worst in the men in my life.

He ignored my wishes, placing aggressive kisses on my neck.

"Fuck, Lynn. I want you," Seth growled under breath. I kept my head down, not allowing him to see the tears filling in my eyes. I know exactly what he wants and I was praying he'd let me go.

But I couldn't help it. I broke into tears the moment he began to undress me and my breathing was put on pause. My vision was blurry and it had nothing to do with my tears and everything to do with the fact that there's nothing I can do to stop him.

I never cry when he does this stuff. It's easier for me not to try and stop him. But this time I couldn't help but cry at the thought of Justin. For whatever reason he's making what's happening with Seth different.

-

I clenched the pillow under me, keeping my eyes on Seth who was asleep. My body was frozen. In a state of shock. I needed to get up before he wakes up but my brain and body were not communicating. I blinked. I blinked again, trying to tell myself it's time to get up.

Finally, my body listened and I was able to sit up. Not without being in pain. My body was sore and screaming at me to take a second to relax after what I just endured. But there's no time for that. My clothes were scattered throughout the house, most of them ripped because he wasn't patient enough to take them off properly. I carefully opened his drawer and pulled out a large shirt for me to wear.

The shaking in my legs made it impossible to leave the house. But when I found my shoes and phone, I left and was greeted by the ridiculously cold weather. I don't have my coat. Seth picked me up from home and I didn't expect to be walking outside, so I only wore a shirt and leggings when I left home. My hands shook as I searched the contacts in my phone.

"Hello?" Justin answered his phone after a few rings. He's normally quick to pick up the phone, so I knew he was busy and I immediately felt embarrassed I was calling him.

"Hi. Are you busy?" I looked back at the house, making sure the door wasn't gone to swing open. I would start walking to preserve my body heat, but I can't walk these streets in nothing by a shirt.

"I'm in the studio. What's wrong?" His voice was more panicked than mine. I forced my eyes shut. It was taking everything in me not to burst into tears again. I didn't know who else to call. I had no choice but to call him. Or at least that's what I'm convincing myself.

"I didn't mean to bother you. I'm sorry. I'll let you go," I hugged myself from the cold. This was so humiliating. It was stupid of me to think his schedule is always clear.

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