The story of James and Lily

Sudden realisation

James's pov
I'm laying in bed waiting for lily to get in, staring up at the ceiling patiently. It's been three days since the full moon and I'm still finding it hard to get the image out of my head. I still love lily, Merlin knows I don't think there's anything she could do to make me stop loving her, but I suddenly feel this huge weight on me now, I guess I hadn't realised how relaxed I had been before and now all of my insecurities and worries about us have risen up and left me conscious of every little thing that happens.

I hear the sound of the door opening and turn to see Lily walk in and close it behind her as quietly and carefully as possible. She's wearing some black shorts and a thin white t-shirt of mine, her hair tied up in a lose ponytail and makeup all off.

She gets in next to me and turns of the light in one swift motion, we say goodnight and are asleep in a matter of minutes.
It's not until I feel something knocking against me that I wake up, the room still pitch black but this time filled with Lily's muffled screams, she's thrashing about and calling out my name. I lean over and switch on her lamp before starting to shake her "lily, lil wake up" her eyes fly open and she wakes with a jerk, breathing heavily and in a cold sweat.
"It's okay, you're alright" I say soothingly, pulling her into my chest. "Remus" she pants. "What?" I ask confused. "It was a nightmare and Remus was chasing me" she gasps, at first I don't under stand but as I scan down her body my eyes land on the bandage wrapped around her arm, small specks of red blood visible on it as the material hans losely from her small arm. At the sight I feel a sharp pain in my chest, as if I'm realising for this first time what she must of actually gone though that night, seeing Remus like that and having him attack her couldn't of been easy and I've been all caught up in myself, not even thinking about the affect it might of had.
"Oh lil" I mumble pulling her up into a tighter hug and kissing the top of her head. "I'm so sorry I didn't even think about what you might be feeling after that" she shakes her head and sits up properly, "no..no it's fine. It was just a dream. It doesn't mean anything" she mutters shaking off my comment. "No, it is not nothing. you've never seen him like that of course its going to scare you....I just wish I'd actually thought about that earlier" I force a weak smile and brush a strand of hair behind her ear. "we can talk about it if you want you know...it might help" she nods and takes a small breath before shuffling closer to me and starting to intwine my fingers with her as she speaks.

We stay up talking until the early hours of the morning where eventually lily falls asleep resting against me and I drift off not long after. I wake to her shaking me lightly and the sight of her small frame hovering just above me. "come on James or we'll miss breakfast" she warns me, already dressed herself and about to walk away. I catch her wrist and pull her towards me. "I'm done being bitter about it all now okay. what happened sucked and It won't be on my list of my top 10 favourite nights but I'm not going to let it put any distance between us for any longer. So I'm sorry for dragging it out for so long" she smiles weakly and sits down beside me, looking a little surprise at my little outburst of feelings. "you don't have to be sorry. hell if that was you I'd of gone mad so its only right that you be just as angry with me and after everything you had every right to be upset....and thnkyou for not telling the others, I don't think I could of debt with all of them knowing ad well" I shake my head "its nothing to do with them, sure t some point in the future its a possibility it might come up and I don't know how long Snape will keep his mouth shut for but you're my main priority lil, nothing else." she nods and licks her lower lip "well I'm glad we can forget about now because I can say with absolute confidence you're the only one for me James potter" She grins, leaning over to kiss me. I pull her closer and cause her to drop the books in her arms, this being the closest we've been to each other in days, having shared nothing more than a brief good night kiss or peck on the cheek. Her hands trail up my arms and then over my shoulders to my hair and tug lightly, her nails gently skimming the back of my neck, I let out a small groan causing her to giggle as I lift her up suddenly and drop her back down on the bed so that I'm resting on top of her. "who cares about breakfast" I mumble starting to undo her robes.