Love & Hate and Friends & Lovers (Zouis/Larry)

8. Confusion

"Because I want to talk to you," he responds in a serious tone.

"Okay," I shrug. "I don't care, I really don't give a fuck about anything anymore."

"Well, well. That's a little bit dramatic don't you think?" he remarks as he sits down in the chair next to mine.

"Well I'm so sorry," I reply in a mocking tone, rolling my eyes. Seriously, why can't I just act normal?

"Tomorrow we're of off after fifth period. Shall we work on the project afterwards?"

I try to sound casual and uninterested as I nod. "Okay."

"Okay," he replies before taking his own history book out. Is he seriously going to sit here and do his schoolwork? What this all he wanted to talk about? I can't be, right?

Occasionally I glance at Zayn, but it seems that he doesn't even notice. He is doing his work and seems quite serious about it too. How is that even possible? How can he function right now? I can barely keep it together with Zayn just a few inches away from me. Bloody hell.

"Okay," mister Talma announces after a while. "You can discuss your answers with the person next to you and afterwards check if your answers are correct."

Zayn immediately turns around and looks at me. I can feel his eyes bore into me as I keep my own gaze at my history book. Of course I'm not doing anything, but Zayn doesn't have to know.

"Ugh," Zayn groans. "History is so out!"

I'm surprised by the sudden conversation and even more by the topic. "What?" I ask confused.

"Out," he explains with a serious look. "Like as in it's now history."

"You're crazy," I chuckle with a slight hint of adoration in my tone. I try not to show it, but I'm probably failing miserably. I like this side of him. He occasionally has such strange remarks.

"Thanks, I'll take that as a compliment," he says with a slight grin on his face.

"Hmm... I think it was a compliment," I reply as I look at him with a grin on my face that I can't seem to hide.

We look into each other's eyes for a moment before turning our heads and remaining silent again. We're probably both thinking about the same thing: the kiss.

It's quite for a moment, as I recall what happened on Sunday, until Zayn suddenly moves closer towards me and whispers in my ear: "I have no regrets."

His words, along with his breath close to my ear, make me shiver. I don't regret the kiss either. As much as I don't want to acknowledge it: I liked it.

But at the same time I know it's wrong what we did. Whatever is going on, it shouldn't be. We don't belong together in any sort of way.

Therefore I don't reply to his words and just silently stare at the teacher, waiting for this class to be over.

-----

Within six hours Zayn will come back to my place to work on our project. And if I'm looking forward to it and have barely slept because of it, that's a secret I will never reveal. And I also will never admit that I've been basically thinking about Zayn nonstop. I think about him whenever I'm in my room, when I'm at school and even when I'm with Harry. And even if I want to ignore it, I still have physical and emotional pain about Sunday, making me think about it once more. The physical pain isn't anything out of the ordinary, just some small bruises and soreness from the fight Zayn and I had, but the emotional pain from the kiss is far more present and deeper. Obviously this kiss itself wasn't painful, because honestly how can a kiss be painful? No, it's because I liked it. And I shouldn't have liked it, not with the guy I hate so much.