Supposed To Be Mine

Chapter 31

PRESENT

"I wanted to kiss you." Ryan stares intensely at River. His hands were still crossed behind his back but itching to touch her. "It was the first time I've ever wanted someone's mouth. I've never felt that up until then. I know it sounds funny when I say it like that but."

"Ana told me that you're asexual." She cuts him off. "So... You don't have to explain."

"Asexual was her assumption, but to be honest River, I don't even know what asexual means let alone if it pertains to me. Kissing, I just never understood. Why would someone want to experience swapping spit I used to think. I was disgusted by the mere thought. But that day, things changed. I didn't know what I was feeling. I couldn't comprehend why I was feeling it. All I knew, was I wanted your lips on mine. I wanted to taste you. Literally, a craving. I asked myself repeatedly, do I really wanted to experience this? and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted it, but instead of giving in to my urge I left."

"Why?"

"Because I was confused. Once you left for college, the more days that past, the more I became unsure of what I felt." He admits.
"I didn't just agree to marry you, I wanted too. But I wasn't sure what you would come back home to. A man who was disgusted? What if that didn't change? How would that have been fair to you? He uncrosses his arms from behind his back and stretches one of them removing fine hairs from her temple.

She flinches. This truth was supposed to be healing, however, everything was too raw, too fresh. "I deserved the truth four years ago." This wasn't her feeling sorry for herself, this was her feeling hurt that so many people she loved have lied to her. "You should have told me."

"There is no doubt in that." He assures her. "I should have, I wanted to, I was going to. But your mother felt it was as best to tell you. She thought it would be easier. I had no idea you weren't told up until recently. But in her defense, I didn't give her an explanation. I didn't give anyone one."

He stops explaining hoping she would say something. Something positive or forgiving. Instead, it was confusion, contemplating, and quietness.

So he kept speaking. "My stupidest decision by far. If I had gotten to spend two seconds with you, I would have changed my mind. I would have realized that you were meant for me."

"So now..." She speaks and sniffles. It was too gut-wrenching for emotions not to take over. "What? You think because you broke up with Ana that you just own me?" Her hands were flaring up. "You think you can just be with me? Back to where we were?"

"Circumstances have given me no choice." He was blunt.

"You mean Landen?"

He clamps down on his jaw. He wanted to tell her of his brother's game, but that would just hurt her more. The last thing he wanted to do. "Landen gave me no choice but to rush. I ended things with Anastasia because it wouldn't be fair to stay with her feeling the way I feel about you." He pauses. "I'll wait for you River but, I'm not going to wait around and watch you be with another man. Especially when I know how you feel about me." He was sure and firm with those words.

"All this time...you knew." She was still overcome with shock. She takes a step back.

He takes a step forward. "And all this time, I've loved you." He swallows. "I'm in love with you."

Just like that, she was sucked in. Everything became fuzzy except the statement she heard from the person she has been wanting to hear it from. She began feeling like she was running a high fever. The heat was blazing through her body, steaming out through her fingertips. Hearing his always soft tone, staring at his burning gaze. No matter how angry she was with him, he still made her feel.

"You were always meant for me." He takes more steps closer. "I feel for no one else. I have wondered countless times if something is wrong with me. But I know now, I simply prefer you." He gets inches from her motionless body. His tone drops to a whisper. "That kiss in the woods... I can't get it out of my mind. I haven't tried much truthfully. All I can think of is...I want more of you." His muscular arms reach out and rub her forearms lightly in an up and down manner. She doesn't flinch this time. In fact, her eyes rolled back in her head. Then his light touch slides up, caresses her neck and jaw before reaching her cheeks and cupping them.

At that point, she was panting. Each deep breath was to steady her mentally and physically. At this moment she felt like she could see it in his eyes how much he meant what he was saying. She felt like it was the truth.
His head lowered and her eyes closed as she willingly gave in.

Their mouths meshed and mixed together softly. The need for one another came out through the pressure of their gripping hands. Slow sweet discovery and satisfaction whimpers from their throats.
She curls her fingers around his neck as he delicately encircles her body pulling her against his. He wanted and needed to be close. Close wasn't close enough. His palm kept constant movement rubbing her back and waist. They memorized her curves. Embedded them into his flesh and mind.

Then Suddenly,  a jingling from the door handle interrupts them. They pull away and meet eyes with a new awareness.

"Open the door." Landen barks.

Automatically River felt guilty. It was over with her and Landen but it has barely been a day since, and here she was making out with Ryan.
She tries to get passed the strong arms around her and to the door but he tightens his hold to stop her. "I'll get it." He steps away and opens the bedroom door for his little brother.

When Landen and River look at each other, she glances away guilty and stares at the floor. That was his first clue that something was going on. His second was her fidgety fingers. "Are you okay?" He asks.

She clears her throat, and something wanted to come out, but it just refused. She nods. "Excuse me." She maneuvers around both brothers and leaves the house. As she watched her feet move on the stone path that led there she began hearing footsteps running up behind her. Normally, she always got it wrong as to which brother she thought it was going to be. This time, she knew and was sure. Her upper shoulders were gripped and his touch only confirmed her assumption. "I need to be alone right now." She declares and keeps moving her steps ahead.

The hold on her shoulder is tightened. She turned around to come to meet the eyes of Landen. "Answer me one question and ill let you go."

Not letting her eyes meet his, she hesitantly nods.

"Did something just happen between you and Ryan?"

She squeezes her eyes shut. She didn't want to hurt him, she really didn't. He was one of the only honest people with her. Should she lie to the only honest person to her? "Landen..." She starts off. Her eyes couldn't focus once on his face. "Um..."

"A simple yes or no River." A sternness that she has rarely seen from him was screeching from his voice.

Her wandering gaze finally reaches his. He could see right away that his suspicions were correct and she wasn't going to lie to him. He holds his hand up to stop her next words. The look in her eyes told him what he needed to know. Hearing it will only enrage him more. He storms off back in the direction he came from.

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Hope You're Enjoying😁

I know a lot of you have run out of Patience....so sorry for how long it's been taking me. I'll do my best on the next.