[Ereri] The Screams that Saved my Sanity

10-Leaving and Staying

---Trigger warning-Attempted suicide. If you don't like-don't read.---

-Eren's POV-

After Levi left I thought about what had just happened. I thought he was going to kill me right there with his bear hands.
I kind of feel bad about what I said...
It's strange. I know I have every right to be afraid but he seemed so sad that I feared him.
I don't know anymore.
I managed to fall asleep when I was woken up by a loud crash. It sounded like glass breaking.
Maybe Levi dropped a plate or something. A few moments later I heard Levi's footsteps coming down the stairs.
"Levi! Hey, I just wanted to say--" I stopped. I felt my jaw drop as my eyes wandered to the unfamiliar object in his right hand.
A gun.
I completely froze. He looked at me and then walked over to the right side of the basement with his back facing the wall.
"L-Levi? W-w-what's going on?"I said with my voice shaking. As I said this I looked at the hand holding the gun again. This time I could see his hands shaking for certain. For awhile now, I've noticed that his hands would sometimes shake whenever I saw him but I never knew for sure because he would hide his hands from my view so I didn't notice sometimes.
What is he going to do?
He reached for something with his left hand around his neck. He ripped a necklace with a key on it off and threw it by my feet.
"Here. It's the key to the basement. You can go."
I felt my heart jump in excitement.
I'm free!
"There's a cell phone under my pillow in my room. You can use that to call the police, your sister, or something."
"Really?!"
He looked away from me. "Yeah kid, just go."
I quickly picked up the key and put it around my neck. I took a couple steps towards the door when I stopped. My eyes wandered to Levi again. His head was down and he was looking at the gun in his hand.
If the gun's not for me then...
My eyes widened as the realization kicked in.
No.
I looked up at the stairs again. I would describe the feeling that night as my heart being pulled in two different directions, but that's not what it felt like.
One side was a meer tug compared to the other side's yank.
I took a deep breath in.
Not again. I'm never going to run away and leave someone to die again. Not ever.
I turned around and walked towards Levi.
"What are you doing? Are you hard if hearing or something? I said you can go." Levi said confused and annoyed.
"What are you going to do with that?" I gestured to the gun in his hand.
"That's none of your concern. Now go."
I looked at him for a moment and took another step. "What is it for?"
"Nothing, brat, just go."
I wasn't giving up, "I'm not leaving until you tell me."
He groaned and spoke more harshly, "I don't want you to see this. Get out of my house, now."
"What don't you want me to see, Levi?"
"Eren, leave."
"What don't you want me to see?" I took another step closer.
"Eren, stop."
"Why do you want me to leave?"
"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE ME BLOW MY BRAINS OUT!" He yelled.
My heart dropped. I knew that's what he was trying to do, but hearing it come from his mouth made it real. My heart started to beat faster than ever before.

"Just go, Eren." He begged.
I took another step towards him, "Levi don't do this-"
"Eren stay the hell away from me!" He pointed the gun at me. I stopped in fear and panic. Slowly I put my hands up, trying to calm him down.
I'm not going to let you do this.
"Hey, hey, it's okay. Put the gun down." I could still see his hands trembling.
"Eren, stay away from me!" I could hear his voice starting to crack, "Please, I don't want to hurt you."
He sounded like he was about to cry.
"I know. It's okay Levi you don't have to do this. I'm not afraid of you. Just put the gun down." He shook his head, "Don't you get it? If you stay here I'm going to keep hurting you and one day I'll go too far! If you stay here you will die, Eren!" I saw tears drip from under his mask to the floor. "And as all of this is happening I'll be hating myself, because I can't stop. I CAN'T EVER STOP!" He cried. His gun was still pointed at me, but I wasn't scared anymore. I had to knock some sense into him. My mind raced for things to distract him from the gun so I could disarm him. Then I remembered.
"Who's Farlan?"
He immediately froze. "What?"
"I overheard you and that Hanji girl mention a guy named Farlan. Who is he?" I could still feel my heart beating rapidly.
"You were listening to our conversation?? What else did you hear???"
Shit.
"That was the only thing I picked up," I lied.
"Oh." We were silent for a minute. We just silently looked at each other. I think he was waiting for me to run and leave.
I wasn't going to.
He sighed and lowered his gun, "Farlan...was my best friend." I sat down on the floor.
"What the hell are you doing?"
I looked up at him from the floor, "What? Aren't you going to tell me how the hell you got like this now?"
"Who said I was, brat?"
"I'm not leaving till you do."
He sighed again. "Fine. But after, you will leave."
"Okay," I lied again. He looked at his feet. He must have been preparing himself to tell the story.

A/N

Yo
I had to split this chapter because it was so long so yeah...
I hate reading long chapters.
Anyway...
Thanks for reading
Peace out.