[Ereri] The Screams that Saved my Sanity

7-Two Sides of the Same Coin

-Levi's POV-

A week had passed by and nothing interesting happened. We never talked. The only words we exchanged were the ones that were necessary.
The bear minimum.
I would feed him, let him take a shower, and then let him talk to his friends. That was about it.
I missed the energy he had. Even if the energy was just his fear of me.
I don't know why this bothers me to be honest. This is what this was suppose to be.

I climbed into bed and stayed awake for hours. Not that this was unusual though. Insomnia is a bitch. Tonight in particular was worse than others though. It was about three in the morning and I hadn't slept at all. Rubbing my eyes, I got up and put on my mask. Sometimes when I couldn't sleep I would go down to watch Eren sleep a little.
Creepy I know, but I don't care. It helps sooth me. I walked down the stairs slowly but stopped when I heard something. Strange. Usually you're asleep at this hour Eren. I stood on the steps and silently watched what he was doing.

His head was down and his shoulders were shaking. Then I heard it.
Sobs.
Terrible, terrible, sobs.
Eren was crying and it's probably because of me.
My heart stopped and my fists clenched. I was angry at myself. I was angry that I did this to him.
Why can't I stop???

"I'm so sorry....I'm so, so sorry! I swear I never meant to do it! I wasn't thinking!....Don't leave me please! It wasn't suppose to end like this!" Eren cried all of this in between his short breaths and sobs. So he isn't crying about me...
I walked up to him but he didn't move. He just continued to sob like he didn't know I was in the room. "Hey, brat." He didn't answer. "Hey, brat, don't ignore me when I'm talking to you." I said sternly.
I gently lifted his head and saw that he was asleep. Nightmare.
I know what it feels like to have terrible nightmares.
This must be bad too. After all, he is sleep sobbing.
I shook his shoulders gently, "Hey brat, wake up. It's okay, it's only a dream...it's just a dream." Finally he opened his eyes and looked at me. At first he gave me a far off look, like he was trying to decide if I was really here or not. "Hey, you were having a nightmare so I thought I'd wake you up." He looked at me blankly and then he looked at the floor. "Oh...I'm sorry...I didn't mean to wake you or anything."
"It's okay. You didn't wake me up, I just wanted to check on you."
He started trying to stop his tears, "No really, I'm sorry. I'm just a stupid idiot." He started shaking his head as tears kept rolling down his face faster.
"I'm just an idiot. I'm just a stupid IDIOT!" He cried desperately. He hung his head down and sobbed some more. I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to see him like this.

I stood up and untied his hands. If it was a trap I don't care. I'd rather go to jail or worse than hear him sob again. What am I going to do when I have no choice? 
After I untied him he put his face in his hands and sobbed into them. I didn't know why he was crying and calling himself an idiot. All I knew was that I was going to make him stop crying no matter what.
A grabbed a hold of his body and rested his head on my chest. At first he was stiff and rigid but after a moment he loosened up. He was so distraught he would cling to the person who caused him pain for comfort. He buried his head in my shoulder and cried.
"Listen, I know it's scary, but it's just a dream. You're okay..."I stroked his head in an attempt to calm him down.
"It's not just a dream. It's real!" He continued to cry. "What happened?" I asked softly.
His breathing became more steady, "A few years ago my mom and I got into a fight. It was stupid and my fault. She found out that I was drinking and doing drugs so she called me out. I got really mad and left the house." More tears came down his face, "A-a few days after living on the streets I came back home to apologize...but she was...someone broke in and...killed her. I should have been there. I could've saved her! It's my fault!"

He clung to me desperately as he continued sobbing. I lifted his head to face me, "You couldn't have done anything. To be honest if you were there you might be dead, too." He moved my hand away from his face and turned away from me, "That's what Mikasa says. She was out of town when all of this happened. But I can't help but think, maybe I should've died. Everything that had happened hit me all at once one day and I couldn't even bear to look at myself. My own reflection made me flinch in disgust." I watched him as he said all of this. Maybe we aren't so different. Two sides of the same miserable coin.

"That's how I ended up here in the goddamn first place! I drank so much I couldn't even think. I was going to run away to where nobody was around to stop me and just end it. I SHOULD HAVE ENDED IT!" He grabbed the back of his head and pulled at his hair. Then he turned to face me with a smile that failed to hide all of the pain and hurt on his face.

"But then you came. Huh, ironic isn't it? My kidnapper and tormentor saved my life. Just my luck, right?" I moved closer to him and wiped the tears from his face. I looked at his beautiful eyes-the eyes I couldn't bear to watch shed anymore tears, "Then in that case I'm glad I'm a disgusting, crazy, monstrous, psychopath." He chuckled and slowly his tears stopped falling.
"You look tired. You should get some rest." I said as I threw him his blanket. "Yeah, I guess you have a point." He looked at his hands and back up at me again, "Uh...umm...aren't you going to tie me up..." I started walking up the stairs until I reached the door. "No. I don't think I need to. Plus I'm sure your back must feel like shit after sleeping like that all this time." He laughed in agreement, "Yeah, but I guess it's a good thing I can sleep standing up!" I opened the door but just before I closed it he called to me again, "Thanks Levi." I smiled to myself and closed the door. I locked it and went to bed. This time I slept soundly.

Maybe one day I won't be a monster anymore.
Maybe one day...

A/N

Yo
Some fluff for my fellow yaoi trash.
Once again I cannot promise my usual everyday update for the next 2 weeks or so but I promise to at least update once a week.
Thanks for reading.
Peace out.