Ocean Eyes

#10 - Jordan

*NOTE* 

THIS TOOK PLACE BEFORE ALL OF THE OTHER CHAPTERS ABOUT HER. WE HADN'T DATED OR BROKE UP YET AND SHE HADN'T DATED DOMINIC YET AND SHE DIDN'T KNOW THAT I LIKED HER YET. THIS WAS BEFORE ALL OF THAT.

"Ugh," I said, and tossed my tablet onto my bed. I had been looking up love quotes for the past hour and a half, and I didn't even know why. I couldn't get my mind off of Jordan, my biggest crush, who also happened to be my best friend.

Images of her at school that day danced in my head like a nicely animated slideshow, and I wanted to kick myself for thinking of her so much. I didn't know what was so special about her. I didn't know why she was the one on my mind or why I liked her so much more than any of my other crushes. She was just her, but somehow that was the greatest thing on the planet to me. 

I allowed myself to, just for a second, have a mental picture of her. I pictured her, wearing her black leggings and shirt, and the amazing Fall Out Boy jacket. That FOB jacket was beautiful on her. She looked cool and sophisticated and hot, and the jacket was warm and smelled like the chestnut scent in her hair, which was part of the reason why I insisted on wearing it so much. I thought of her gorgeous, wavy red hair flowing down her back, and the way I brushed it out with my fingers when she wanted me to or when I was bored. If I tried hard enough, I could almost feel the silky strands slipping through my fingers once again.

Shaking myself, I tried to shove Jordan out of my mind. I went back to the love quotes, and one caught my eye. It said, If you don't know why you love someone, that's a good thing. If you can give me a specific reason why you love someone, it's called like.

I sat straight up in my bed. That was one of the most confusing things about my crush on Jordan: I didn't know why. I didn't know why I was attracted to her and why so much. I didn't know why she made me feel that way, but no one else could.

Something ticked inside of me and made my heart beat faster, but I ignored it, setting my jaw in a straight line.

I need to stop looking at these love quotes.

I didn't.

Something made me keep clicking. Something made me type in search after search, looking for all of the right quotes. Eventually, I found that the majority of my quotes were about loving someone who didn't love you back.

And then it hit me.

Like a ton of bricks, like a wave crashing on a shore, it hit me.

Love.

That coursing feeling of burning desire, admiration, devotion, and just hopeless love. It all made sense. Everything that I had been feeling for Jordan, all of the craziness in my heart, it was all love.

I leaned back on my bed as a huge smile formed on my face, involuntarily.

I'm in love with Jordan Perkins.