A/N
This is gonna be in Reese's ghost POV I'm not trying to offend anyone in this way I just wanna show her side of it thanks.
"Have fun with auntie," he smiles leaving Athena with Aaliyah. She looks sad almost as he walks off. "Bye baby girl," he waves getting into his car and driving off somewhere, somewhere I've never seen him go before.
"What's he doing?" I've made friends up here, I was alone before but I found my grandparents and some of my other family members and they introduced me to others that I've connected with. One of my best friends died the same way I did but she never got to hold her baby.
"I-i don't know?" I was really happy when Shawn and Justin got together, they were happy too. But after about two weeks of their relationship Justin left him with a text, saying he'd appreciate it if they didn't contact him and that he'd gone back to LA to live his dream and continue with his music career. Shawn however gave up on it entirely and not revolves completely around Athena with the money he has saved and the money I still make a month.
"Your late," some lady yells at him, he apologizes and walks to the back of the club, the strip club. He changes quickly into a horribly revealing outfit that seems to make me more uncomfortable than it makes him.
It seems like a normal thing for a girl to strip when she's at a loss for money, but my poor baby does it for the same reasons. He needs help with my baby girl but he won't admit it, he refuses. I wish I could help him. He'd be gone on his tour like usual but he'd be enjoying himself instead of being on the verge of tears trying to earn money by pleasing people.
"I've made a decision," that same lady that yelled at him earlier pushes him back into the dressing room. "You're just not getting enough business." I watch him beg but she ignores him. "You're done here." She points at his clothes in a pile on the ground. I touch his soft calloused hands, the ones that were once mine.
"I'm sorry," he looks right passed me and I move so he looks at me. "I'm so so sorry." He looks down completely and utterly disappointed in himself.
"I'm not mad," I whisper giving his cheek a kiss. He walks away and out of the room so I follow. I walk with him sitting in the passengers side waiting while he whines and groans hitting his steering wheel before driving off towards his house. I once lived with him, I was once in his bed with him. He knew I was there with him instead of now when he holds a pillow at night.
"Maybe I can be with you again," he stares at the picture he has hanging on the wall. A large portrait of us, our last picture together, the only picture we have with CJ included and the only one we'll ever get with Athena.
"Are you staying with him tonight?" Caroline the girl I spend most of my time with asks. She died during her child labour and says it was horrible for her to come up and be able to see her son. She says she watched her son and her husband everyday for two years and the older he got the less and less they thought about her and soon they'd almost completely forgotten. Although her husband still cries and speaks to her but her son has no knowledge of who she is and he's just started kindergarten.
"Yeah," I nod wiping my eyes as I sit on the edge of the bed.
"I'll come get you in the morning," she smiles at me while I move closer.
"See you then," I lay myself on his chest wrapping my arms around his waist.
"I'm sorry I let you down." He whispers as if he knew I was there.
"You've never let me down." I press myriad against his.
-
"He's gone," Caroline shakes me a little to wake me up.
"Where'd he go?" I jump up and gasp almost.
"Come on," she sighs leading me away. Quickly we arrive at a training centre, but one that's hidden away almost.
"Some of you are lucky enough to be deployed." An angry sounding man walks up and down this line of people. He yells out people's names or last names I'm assuming and they all seem excited or scared. "Mendes!" Shawn looks so happy but depressed as well. "Dismissed!" He walks off and soon so do they all.
"I hope you're proud," he whispers walking to his car. Part of me wants to possess him and force him out of the offer but I know that would be wrong.
"I wish I could be," I always respond to him but I know he can't hear me. I wish he could, I wish he could see me too I wanna help him through what he sees as difficult. I want to do everything I can for him and my little girl. I want to do so much for him even more now he adopted my baby when he dad ignored her, I love him a little more for that.
"I'm doing this for you and Athena, maybe I'll end up, up there with you and we can be together again, I miss you so much my love." He smiles at the ground. "I miss you so much." He gets into his car driving to my resting place as he always did. After important events. He'll lay a blanket on the ground and tell me it's where he wants me to lay and he'll sit on the grass saying he doesn't know if I'm there or not but talking to me regardless.
"He's such a dork," Caroline giggles.
"I know," I smile laying on the blanket he's laid out. "But he's my dork." I defend my poor helpless baby.
"He could be anybody's dork now," she brings me to her old house showing me the happiness of her husband with his new wife and the smile on her sons face as he calls her mommy jumping around as playing with them. "They move on quickly." We flash back to where Shawn lay.
"But he's always been my dork," I look at the stone which he wraps a blanket around.
"Snows gonna start to fall soon and I probably won't see you much," he lays against my tombstone kissing it as if it were me he cuddled. "But I have some news." He smiles letting his tears running down my tombstone but not before his cheeks. "I've joined the army, and I'm being deployed." He kisses my tombstone again. "I know you won't be too happy if I fail but I hope to make you and my baby girl proud. I love you very much and I wouldn't mind failing to see you again." He wipes his eyes.
"Poor guy," Caroline sighs looking at him.
"Shut up, I'm talking to him." I hush looking at him while he smiles.
"I wanna be buried right where you're laying." He smiles. "Because I always held your right hand." I look at my finger. The rings he'd buried me with, I have all of their items. I wear Justin's shirt everyday and I cart CJ's blanket with me everywhere I go. All of the other things stay at my home. Which is basically just my casket but it's like in the clouds where almost everyone else spends their time. They're treated well up there but I want to continue seeing y baby.
"I can't believe you remember." I smile at him moving from the blanket to his lap making him shiver. When I travel cold air follows.
"I remember the gift that was given to Justin and I, I still have it. It says when the wind blows you're around, i don't know where you are but the wind is blowing and I hope it's because you're around."
"I'm right here," I cuddle him gently.
"I have to go love but I hope you'll watch me and help me through the tougher times, I hope you could act as my guardian angel during the war when I leave in a few weeks. I wish you were here to wish me off just like you did Justin. If I'm lucky you'll be there in spirit."
"I'll follow you," i whisper but he doesn't here me. He stands up and i fall down.
"Stay warm princess," he bends down kissing my stone again. "Stay warm," he wraps his jacket around my stone and it pops up on my shoulders. I hold it tightly taking in the familiar scent it holds.
"Don't get too cold." I whisper back.
"I love you." He blinks at the rock guarding my body.
"I love you too," his pale cheeks go a rosy pink colour just like they do every time I tell him I love him. The cold air I bring makes him cold too. "Stay warm," I sink back into my casket where I bury myself in everything they buried me with. I spend my time jumping between people, I was with Angelina yesterday. I can't believe what I'm about to miss for her and Dylan. They're having their first baby and i can't even be there for them, i at least got to see them get engaged and it brought me great joy. "I miss you guys."
