Eh Yung Hindi Naman Tayo? (COMPLETED)

Unsteady- Maine

We sat on the couch after dinner, browsing through the selection of shows and movies on Netflix.

It was Thursday and you came over armed with a bouquet of yellow and pink carnations in one hand, two bags of takeouts for dinner in the other and a charming smile on your face ready to dazzle me in an evening of courtship.

But what I really needed was a friend.

I let you in and we shared the dinner you brought. You kept engaging me in conversation and cracked a few jokes but I can only give you half smiles and little laughter.

I'm sorry, RJ. I'm a mess right now. I can't give you more.

"Maine?" You asked with your beautiful eyes looking at me with deep concern.

Those beautiful gentle eyes that caress my soul with their kindness and love. Those eyes that always looked at me like the most precious thing in the world.

But I am not.

I am human. I am ordinary. I am flawed. I am weak.

I am not deserving of those stares, that love, that sweet voice that always bears tender words for me.

"Sabihin mo lang kung ano magagawa ko ha?" You told me and laid a gentle hand on my arm.

That simple gesture was enough. It was enough to break down the walls of indifference I built around me the whole day ever since I decided to finally speak my mind.

A soft touch, a gentle touch that hit like a giant boulder to shatter my defenses.

"Uy... Meng..." You closed the gap between us and wrapped your strong arms around me.

I crumbled in your embrace. I buried my face on your chest and sobbed. I let the tears I've held for so long flow down my face as heavy sobs rocked my whole body.

Finally, after weeks of keeping the hurt inside, of pretending to be unaffected, of acting like everything in the world was normal despite all the relentless flow of negativity, bashing and hate around us, my barriers caved in.

I was hurt, deeply hurt, for my friends, my family, your family, for the people who support us, for you.

It wasn't right anymore and I had to speak up.

All I wanted was to make people happy. All I wanted was to inspire love and kindness to others. That was all I ever wanted but I couldn't see that anymore and I've had enough.

I felt your arms tighten around me like you wanted to shield me from more pain.

"Sige lang. Andito lang ako. Andito lang ako, Menggay." You kept whispering in my ear like a chant.

Your deep voice and the calming rhythm of your heartbeat created a wonderful music that soothed me as you caressed my hair and back and planted soft kisses on my temple.

"Okay ka na?" You asked when I finally lifted my tear stained face from your soaked shirt.

I sat up straight, pulled away from your embrace and wiped my tears although you still kept an arm around me.