Eh Yung Hindi Naman Tayo? (COMPLETED)

Shine

As the party drew to a close, we were led to a holding area where only a few people, your family, the organizers and our teams were there. I thought it was a safe enough place to give you my other gift, the one I could not show you earlier because there were too many people watching us.

Every part of our story has always been seen by the public eye. From the day we first met to our first conversations, from our first date to our first touch, first hug, first kiss, from our first song, first movie, first soap, from our moments on stage to behind the camera to our first concert date.

Everyone wanted to be a part of them and we were more than willing to share those moments but there are some, precious, rare and private moments that we wanted to keep to ourselves and we worked so hard to keep them that way.

It has been difficult especially for you, Maine, because everything happened to you all of a sudden. I knew it scared you a little but you were far braver than you thought yourself to be and you stayed.

Thank you for staying and thank you for trusting me coz otherwise I would never know how it means to be truly happy with the random moments between you and me.

Those times when I knew your smile was only meant for me, those time when only our eyes met, those moments only we can know, those are the ones we will always cherish and protect in the very depths of our hearts.

Those moments like this moment, when the screams and cheers hushed, when millions of eyes were down to two pairs... yours and mine, those are the moments that shine brightest in our memories.

I pulled you to a corner and you smiled. Your eyes sparkled like diamonds and your lips curled up to show your perfect pearly whites. You smiled that smile that warmed every corner of my heart and melted down to my very soul.

You were beautiful. You are beautiful.

"Meng, eto na yung gift na binulong ko sa'yo." I said and handed you the small box I've been keeping in my pocket.

You looked at me with wide and curious eyes.

"Ano na naman to, RJ?" You asked.

"Buksan mo kasi alangan ako magbukas at sabihin sa'yo. Gift ko nga sa'yo yan di ba?" I chuckled and you giggled.

That sound was like music to my ears and I will continue to do everything to hear it over and over again.

"Oo nga naman. Sabi ko nga bubuksan ko na." You said and opened the small box from Tiffany's.

You gasped, beamed and looked at me in disbelief then... then your smile faded.

"RJ... I can't..." You said and handed the box back to me.

"Why? Alam kong you're not a big fan of earrings but I saw this particular pair caught your eye nung namasyal tayo sa New York so I got in and bought it after you left. Ito yung nagustuhan mo di ba? Or nagkamali ba ako ng design? Pwede kong ipapalit or I'll get you the one you really liked." I said as I laid the box back on your palm, suddenly filled with panic and disappointment.

"You were watching me?" You asked and I sighed.

"Yes. Tuwing nandiyan ka, ikaw lang naman ang pinagmamasdan ko at pag wala ka, ikaw pa din ang hinahanap ng mga mata ko, Meng."

Seeing our serious conversation, those with us inside, started clearing out the room and preoccupied themselves with other things.

You were quiet for a while, staring at the box in your hand, before you answered.

"Hindi sa ayaw ko siya. I love it. Gustong-gusto ko. Sobrang saya ko when I saw it coz I thought I missed the chance to get back in New York. It's just..." You sighed you looked into my eyes and I felt an imaginary lump lodge in my throat.

"RJ... tonight you made me happy by being here, your mere presence filled my heart and then this... Knowing you always know which string to strum and which part to touch to play beautiful melodies in my heart is too much. It scares me, RJ. Masyado mo akong napapasaya. Ayaw kong maging masyadong masaya sa'yo kasi aasa ako. Ayaw kong iasa sa'yo ang kaligayahan ko dahil paano kung... paano kung magkalayo na tayo at wala ka na sa buhay ko?" I saw them, the tears that glimmered in your eyes and I felt my heart shatter because I caused them.

"Maine, umasa ka. Asahan mo ako. Asahan mong nandito lang ako palagi para pasayahin ka, pangalagaan ka at protektahan dahil kahit kailan hindi ako lalayo, nandito lang ako at laging magiging parte ng buhay, kahit nasa gilid na lang ako at pinagmamasdan ka sa tabi... you will always have me, Maine dahil kahit kailan hindi ko kakayaning mawala ka sa buhay ko." I told you with all my heart as I held your hand.

"Bakit?" You asked.

"Because I love you, Maine." I sighed in relief having been able to say what I always held within and unsure of how you would respond.

"I love you too but this is too much even for us." You said and I knew you missed my point entirely.

"No. Hindi ganoon." I held both your hands in mine and looked straight into your eyes intently, sincerely, unwaveringly.

"I love you, Maine. Hindi ko alam how you would feel about me telling you this. Kung matutuwa ka o lalayo but I want you know na mahal kita more than you know at pwede mo akong asahan because I will always be here for you. Alam kong you're not ready for anything more than what we have. I'm not asking you to take that leap. Not yet anyway. All I ask if for you to accept the efforts I make to make you happy and all the little tokens that come with them." I said as I closed your hand over the small box.

I saw that smile slowly come back up to your lips as you nodded.

"Thank you, RJ. For making me happy, for knowing, for understanding. You know you will always have that space in my heart. It can only be yours.  It's such a big part and it shines so bright that I can never just push it to the side. One way or the other, you will always be the leading man in my life, Richard Faulkerson Jr."