Let It Snow

Chapter 35

Hey, Swaggernauts! I am currently grounded and typing as fast as I can, so sorry if there is a load of spelling errors! On to the story!

[ Niall's POV ]

I have never done this before. I don't even understand what I'm doing or how I'm even doing it, but I am. This might be hard, so I guess I won't just come straight out and say it. I've got to ease into it slowly and steadily, like Liam would do.

Forget about Liam, Niall.

But dear God, I simply cannot. You can't just forget someone you've known like a brother for years. Especially if they work with you or... you know... are in a band with you. Liam was special, too. Something about him always clicked in my mind. Even my mother likes him like her own son. Don't get me wrong, she loves all of the boys. Liam just had a little something... uh, extra.

"I got the popcorn!" Zayn said, entering the room with confidence in his trackies. He sat on the edge of my bed and sprawled himself out on the end. I watched him as he placed the bowl on his stomach, grab a handful, and shove it in his mouth. "Want some?"

I shook my head. "No, thanks."

He narrowed his eyebrows at me, mentally asking what was wrong with me. I don't blame him, though. I never turn down the opportunity of food. Never. I just gave him a shrug and he turned back towards the glowing television. I guess I just don't have an appetite right now. I feel terribly sick to the stomach, I'm pretty sure I'm paler than normal, my heartbeat feels irregular, and my skin is hot to the touch but I am freezing.

Maybe it's the lack of having Liam around...

Stop, Niall. Desperation is not attractive. I quickly shook any and all thoughts of Liam from my head and brought the warm red blanket up to my chest. Come on. The sooner I do it, the sooner we can go back to being normal teenage boys. Best friends together doing what we love. That's what I want. That's what we need. Just do it..

"Zayn?" I asked, clicking the remote control. The television screen turned to black and I tossed the remote behind me so Zayn couldn't get it.

"Hey!" he shrieked. "I was watching that!" He giggled and turned to face me. "What's wrong?"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure!" Zayn smiled happily at me, but it soon faded once we saw my serious face. "About what?"

"Everything," I responded.

Zayn looked deep into my eyes and examined my face thoroughly. I could tell he was deep in thought and concentration. I've never seen his face look like this before. It was almost heartbreaking. I know it might be tough, but I gotta do what I gotta do before we go back to Paris this up-coming Spring. And if I had to lose and gain a few friends on the way? Then so be it. At least I'm being honest, which is all I really want to happen.

"I think..." I hesitated, but continued anyway. Might as well get it over. "I think this should stop."

He gave me an uncertain look. "This as in... you and Liam arguing?"

"No," I breathed. He isn't making this easy.. "This as in... us."

His normally gorgeous face dropped and he looked at me like I had just slapped him plain across the face. I could the pain in his eyes, the urging in his lips. It was gut-wrenching to just look at him like this, but I feel like it's right if I have to do it.

"As in... Ziall," I finished, letting out an exasperated sigh.

I could see Zayn inhale a deep breath as his mind and body processed what was happening. He looked up at me with sadness in his eyes. "But why?"