Let It Snow

Chapter 21

[ Liam's Pov ]

I sat down and cuddled into Danielle's lap as she munched on popcorn. I don't know where I went wrong.. No, scratch that. I knew exactly where I went wrong, I just don't know why I did it. I am almost positive Niall wants absolutely nothing to do with me, and that's exactly what I was trying to avoid. But no, I was the fucking idiot who let his love life slip through his hands like sand. I could feel dry tears resting hopelessly on my cheeks. They were about as pathetic as I am. Very fucking pathetic. I don't even know why Danielle still wanted me. She is a great girl, don't get me wrong... But I don't get the butterflies I do with her like I do with Niall. Things just don't feel right.

"Liam?" Danielle asked. "Why didn't you tell me?" She began running her fingers through my hair, which gave me chills. Chills I normally would have liked, but not now. "I totally want you with me, but if you really love Niall, then go get him."

I sighed. "Danielle... I'm starting to realize that if I really loved Niall, I wouldn't even be here right now."

"True," she agreed. "I had no clue I was making you choose..."

"It's fine, dancer," I said mournfully. And it was true. I'm starting to think that if I really wanted Niall, none of this would have ever happened. No dancer, no Danielle. But now that she is here, I think I want her. More than ever. "Uh, can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot, Popstar."

"Can I kiss you?" I asked slowely, afraid of her answer.

She nodded, and my lips collided into hers. This felt right, but it didn't at the same time..

[ Niall's POV ]

I sighed and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked a mess. There were bags underneath my dull blue eyes, and they were red and puffy with tears. Why the hell had I ever let Liam trick me? Fuck this shit.. I knew something was wrong with that picture. I put my earbuds into my ears and turned to Demi Lovato, my favorite. I turned to track 12 and sang along quietly.

"In real life, I'm wakin' up alone. It's one more night you didn't make it home. And one more time you won't pick up the phone. In real life, you never bring me flowers. When you're here, It's only for an hour. I'm gettin' used to bein' on my own. Because in real life, you're not what I thought. Real life, this isn't what I want. Guess things aren't always what they seem."

God, was this song made for me?

"But in my dreams, I'm waking up to roses. Champagne, kisses and I know it's always, always gonna be, gonna be this way. In my dreams, you're standing right beside me. Two hearts, finally colliding. Then I wake up and realize, realize this is real life."

I thought about it. Me and Liam, I really thought it was perfect. I always thought it would last from the moment I met him. But he is a promise breaker, a lyer, a cheater, a user, a player, a bastard...a heart breaker. Liam is dead to me. I hate him. He let me down, and I hated that. I didn't want to believe it, but now I know that it's true. I don't think he ever loved me at all. And right now? He's probably macking on Danielle, living it up. I am not dealing with that. I may as well be dead. For fuck's sake, I might as well.

God, here come the tears again. I sniffed, trying desperatley to fight them back. I glanced down, my eyes grazing over the trashcan. A bright light flashed me in the eye, startling me. What the hell is that? I bent down and looked into the can. Oh, it's just Louis' old CD case. I glared at it, hating it almost as much as I hate Liam. But do I really hate him? Or am I trying to mask the fact that for the first time ever, I'm purely heartbroken.

I kept my eyes down on the shattered CD case, remebering how Louis got frustrated and broke it to get it open. Then an idea flickered through my head. My breath grew quicker at the idea, as I was scared. I picked up a piece of the case and leant back against the wall. My eyes trailed up to the ceiling, wondering why I'm punishing myself. Do I diserve this? Yes. Yes, I do. I looked down at the rugged glass and took in a breath. I slit the glass across my wrist, then winced in pain. Shit, that hurt. I did it once more, crying as it burned my flesh. Liam hurt me, so I react by hurting myself?

A few drops of blood fell to the ground as my eyes made contact with my wrist. It was bloody and disgusting. I cried harder, wanting to leave the world right now. God, I wanna be with you. Not down here. Not in this life. Not with the boys. Not with Liam. But, God, with you. I took the glass in my other hand and swiped it across my other wrist, a bit deeper. The blood splurted down all over my hand and on the ground. Oh, my gosh. Why me?!

"Nialler, you okay?" Zayn asked, pushing the door open. What?! I thought I locked that!

Zayn froze in shock as he saw what I was doing. I stared back at him with a blank expression. He had a look of pure terror on his flawless face. Although I was motionless, I could still feel myself crying.

"NIALL! Give me that!" Zayn reached for the sharded glass in my hand, but I yanked it away from him. I think it cut in his palm, as he yelped in pain.

"No!" I whined, pushing him back. He pulled my hand from my chest, where the glass was, and tried to pry it out of my hand. "Nooo!"

I couldn't take this. He wrestled me to the ground as I cried and yelled in pain. Harry and Louis appeared in the doorway, horrid looks on their faces. I wanted to die. Why couldn't they let me? Why?!

"I wanted to die!" I yelled in Zayn's face, tears still running down my face like a salty river. "I wanted to go! Get out of this shit!" I began sobbing uncontrollably. I could see tears in all of the boys' eyes as they watched in pain and horror. Zayn had me restrained on the floor. The glass was somewhere in his safe possesion. "Nooo! You ruined everything! I hate you!"

"Why couldn't you just let me die?!" I whined one last time before collapsing in Zayn's lap in a fit of hysterical crying.

My body shook. I cried. Harry cried. Zayn cried. Louis cried. And Liam? Well, Liam isn't here, now is he?

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XOX, Maddie<3