Tales of Tiptoe and More - Volume III

Episode 41

Garett Goose had been performing "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" every week at the local coffee shop, when they had "Amateur Night". He'd play it on his toy xylophone, while tiptoeing thru the plastic tulips he'd bought on sale at K-Mart, which he'd toss around the stage, before his performance. It all became rather boring, so he decided to put up an ad for a backup band.

The only band that responded was called Robot Ratz Stomping Cheze, a speed metal punk band with a nasty reputation. Garett was shocked at how loud and discordant they sounded, when he auditioned them. He was about to tell them to leave, when he suddenly felt dizzy, and fainted.When he regained consciousness, he discovered that his body had continued functioning, and had become the kind of lead singer that Robot Ratz Stomping Cheze had been needing all along. He helplessly looked out his eyes as his body jumped on stage and began screaming, while the sound of Robot Ratz Stomping Cheze filled the air with throbbing pounding and screeching guitar and bass.

The audience went wild as they slam danced to the Garett-led "Tiptoe Through the Crypto," plus a climactic cover of The Brady Bunch theme, in a slowed down version that featured the sound of dueling chain saws. At the same time, former Kung Fu and current Electric Beethoven master zombies came thru the door, with the intent of terrorizing the crowd, but everyone thought it was part of the show, and were delighted at the new dimension to the performance. All the while, Garett was cowering in horror, inside his brain, at what his body was doing.

Several hours later, his body passed out in drunken and drug-fueled exhaustion, and he was able to once again gain control. He went home, took a shower, and dressed for his day job as a security guard at the 4th National Bank. He wasn't quite sure what he'd do about next week's Amateur Night at the local coffee shop.