Tales of Tiptoe and More - Volume III

Episode 40

Mary Mayhem drove her pink roadster to the city park, to have a picnic of lemonade and cupcakes. As she made herself comfortable, and was about to bite into a nice pink cupcake, a ball sailed thru the air, and knocked the cupcake out of her hand. A group of leprechauns ran up to her and one of them said, "We're very sorry, we were hurling, and didn't realize you were there!."

Mary asked, "What's hurling?". Another of the leprechauns piped up saying, "That's the name for an Irish stick and ball game that promotes mayhem with a club and is the national game of Ireland, Mary's birthplace." Mary found this quite interesting, especially
since her own name was Mary, and she had been born in Ireland.

"Who is Mary?" she asked?

The first leprechaun responded with, "Mary is our long lost cousin, who left us several years ago. On her bed was a note saying that the Tiptoe Fairy had appeared to her in a dream, and she was off in search of Tiptoeland."

Mary suddenly became quite embarrassed. She herself had actually had such a dream, many years earlier, and had left in search of Tiptoeland. But after awhile, she had decided there was no such place, and had ended up working in a pizza shop in New York City. She had been to ashamed to return to Ireland and admit that she'd been wrong.

She wasn't surprised that the leprechauns didn't recognize her, since she'd had plastic surgery to look more like Nancy (of "Nancy and Sluggo" fame), whom she'd always admired. She decided to let the leprechauns know that she was their long lost cousin, thinking of the joy they'd feel, upon hearing this. "I am your long lost cousin, Mary Mayhem!" she said, opening her arms for a group hug.

Much to her surprise, the leprechauns became angry. "So we've finally found you!" several yelled, as they began to throw sticks and balls at her. The first one shouted, "Have you forgotten that you took all our savings, when you went off in search of Tiptoeland? We created the game of hurling so that we'd never forget what you did!"

Suddenly Mary did remember that she'd "borrowed" all the money from their Christmas Savings Club, of which she'd been the treasurer.

She became afraid when the first leprechaun pulled a club from behind his back, and continued, "and now it's time to 'promote' you to your new role as our prisoner, until you work off what you owe us!"

Mary Mayhem then relaxed, as she had saved up quite a bit, from working in the pizza shop. Looking like Nancy (of "Nancy and Sluggo" fame) had caused many rich customers to give her huge tips, for posing with them in photos. She pointed to her pink roadster and said, "How about I give this to you, for starters?"

The leprechauns looked longingly at the roadster, and their anger disappeared. A few minutes later, Mary and the leprechauns were speeding along the highway in her pink roadster. They passed several cows, but Mary had learned from experience to avoid them at all costs.

Soon they were all sitting in the pizza shop in New York City. To everyone's surprise, customers seemed to think that Mary and the leprechauns were Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. It had never occurred to Mary that Nancy (of "Nancy and Sluggo" fame) and Snow White looked somewhat similar. Soon they were all getting huge tips, and the pizza shop became a "must see" stop for anyone who visited New York City. It all inevitably led to an offer to do a sequel to the Disney movie.

Unfortunately, the movie didn't do that well, and the backlash caused a loss of interest in visiting the pizza shop. Fortunately they'd saved enough to move back to Ireland, where they showed the movie sequel on weekends, in a run down theater in Dublin.