Tales of Tiptoe and More - Volume III

Episode 10

The Mildew Lady was speaking at a luncheon:

I garden organically and use a soap spray to control mildew. Soap slows down the mildew when it gets too excited, and starts becoming very arrogant, shouting things like "The world needs to be covered in mildew" and "Mildew is the only thing that matters!".

That's why I invite the Soap Lady over for tea every afternoon. I do have to keep my hand over my cup, since she occasionally tries to slip a little soap into my tea. She doesn't understand that soap has its limits, and shouldn't be used for everything. But overall, the Soap Lady is a good friend to have.

Once, when the Soap Lady and I were having tea, there was a knock on the door. We opened it, to find a group of people who identified themselves as "The Cucumber Committee". They said that their greatest pleasure was to taste as many different cucumbers as possible. I suppose they traveled all over town trying everyone's cucumbers. Sadly, I had to tell them that currently there were no cucumbers in my house. They seemed to be shocked to hear this, and quickly left, saying things like "How could anyone continue living, without cucumbers?" and "I need some cucumbers right now, to try to forget what I just heard!"

The next morning, I overheard some of my mildew saying, "I wonder what mildew-covered cucumbers would be like?" I called up the Soap Lady, asking if she'd come over extra early that day.

The crowd at the luncheon applauded politely, but rushed home, to make sure that their cucumbers were safe.