Wild Side [h.s au]

Chapter 46

Harry

The sound of her voice makes me freeze, my heart skipping a beat. The voice belonging to the girl I knew won't give up so easily, despite my attempt to stop her from getting in here. Typical Elena, always a fighter. But I'm about to show her it's time for her to give up because there's nothing left to fight for. 

I slowly stand up, grabbing my shirt from the floor in the process and putting it on, ignoring my bleeding scraped knuckles, actually welcoming the pain. It's nothing compared to what I feel inside.  I turn around and face her, hazel eyes filled with uncertainty and fear, but still holding that fiery glint they always have, something I've always liked about her. 

"Have you heard what happened yet?" I say calmly, seeing her shoulders drop for a moment, her silence being my answer. "There were exactly sixty children, we've managed to save thirty-eight, four died, and the rest was taken by them. Eighteen children are in the hands of those monsters." My voice is cold and completely detached.

She winces at my tone, glancing away and taking a deep breath. I don't give her a chance to say anything, though, deciding to continue since I'm not done. "You know what's the best part? If I hadn't left with you to play your game, I could've prevented it. I could've gone with them, I could've saved them all perhaps. But I'll never know what could've happened since I was too busy dealing with your betrayal, talking to my missing parents, and getting acquainted with your uncle who is miraculously not dead."

My heart practically rips to shreds in my chest just talking about everything I had to go through today, especially her betrayal. What makes this whole thing worse is that even now that I know what she has done, even now that I feel the pain with every beat of my heart against my rib cage, even now I still love her.

Admitting it to myself right now brings a harsh wave of pain, the knife pierced through my heart twisting. "What? You have nothing to say to your defence? No more lies or false stories? Remember when you came here and we saw each other for the first time? You said something back then, and it has stuck with me ever since. You said you needed me. And when I. . . got attached to you, it gave me hope.  It gave me hope because I needed you too. It was a little selfish feeling I had, something to reassure me you won't leave if you feel the same as I do. How wrong and pathetic I've been, I can see it now." I shake my head in disgust, a scoff ejecting through my gritted teeth. "None of it mattered to you."

My words seem to hit a nerve because her eyes snap at me and she takes a few cautious steps toward me, her fingers pulling at the necklace I haven't noticed she has until now, a familiar silver ring with the red gemstone glistening and dangling around the chain.  "I wouldn't have kept this if none of it mattered to me. I would've thrown it somewhere and forgotten about it the moment you gave it to me, Harry. But I kept it because it means so much to me, it gave me hope.  It was a reminder of what we have. It was a reminder we're real, just like the one hanging around your neck is."

I glance down at the ring she gave to me before we slept together, feeling my chest constrict, a painful lump forming in my throat, almost making it hard to breathe. I don't want this reminder yet I can't find it in me to rip it off my neck and throw it at her face, just like she did with my trust when she had led me to her uncle and my mother. When I glance back at her, I almost cave in. Almost. "You have a gift, you know? Even now you almost convinced me. You almost convinced me you actually cared about me."

"I don't just care about you, it's much stronger than that and you know it." She takes another step forward, our distance being at arm's length,  determination radiating off her yet her voice is small, her eyes large with concern for my reaction.

Her words cause a crack in the mask I've put on, but I refuse to give in, I refuse to give her my trust once again. Whether what she says is true or not, it doesn't change anything, it can't. Every cell in my body is dangerously aware of her proximity, the idiotic part of me wanting to just pull her to me and tell her it's okay, it's all forgiven. However, the other, much stronger one is pushing me to show her the damage she has caused.