Forever (Book 1) (Editing)

Chapter Fifty One

My mate... My beautiful, intelligent, stubborn mate. She was completely mine in every way possible now. It was hard to truly swallow what we'd done only a few hours ago. Right here, in this very bed, where she now lay wrapped around me in sleep. Neither of us had bothered to pull any clothing on before we'd succumbed to exhaustion. And, even having been exhausted, I still found myself waking with the sun. My mate was still cuddled into me the way she was when we'd fallen asleep. Even knowing how she'd given herself to me, how I gave myself to her, I still found it hard to believe that it really happened. She was so perfect, and I was just a mess of flaw after flaw. 

I was amazed that after all I'd done to her, and put her through, that she still stood by my side. She still trusted in me that things would all work out in the end. She was amazing and all I'd ever really managed to do was hurt her time and time again. But that was all in the past now. I’d made the decision that I would be a better man for her now. That I would do everything in my power to make sure that she was happy and that I would never hurt her again. I was holding myself back now and I refused to say anything without thought. Somehow though, I was still getting the impression that she wasn’t pleased with me. I was still doing something to make her unhappy.

I smiled down at her sleeping figure. Her head was resting on my chest. The warmth of her body was seeping into me like a soothing balm. And the rhythm of her breathing was almost hypnotic. It was a wonder that she still felt anything pleasant for me, when I could so easily smell her anger toward me. That she could so effortlessly proclaim that she loved me too gave me cause to wonder as well. I hadn’t meant to admit it to her the way that I did. It just slipped out in my moment of jealousy. I could hardly hold anything back. But I wasn’t disappointed that I had told her.

When I saw her kissing Kyle it took everything I had in me to hold back from wanting to slaughter that pup. And his mate Anna, she just sat there like nothing wrong was happening. She actually seemed to be enjoying it, and yet my world felt like it was shattering apart. She and Kyle must have a stronger bond then Lacey and I do. They must have trust in each other that I couldn’t feel in my relationship with my own mate. It was no one’s fault but my own. She’d never betrayed me the way that I have her. And yet she suffered no trust issues regarding me. Maybe it all was on me. Maybe my own feelings were streaming from my inability to trust myself.

I growled lowly in pleasure as she smiled and snuggled her face into my chest, inhaling my scent before shifting slightly and opening her eyes to look up at me.

“Good morning, Colt.” She whispered out in her sweet, husky, sleepy voice.

“Good morning my beautiful mate.” I whispered back before gently kissing her forehead.

“What time is it?” She asked as she slowly sat up, quickly ruffling her hair with her fingers. “It’s got to be close to noon. I feel like I’ve been sleeping forever.”

“It’s only seven.” I answered her as I sat up myself with a grin at her. “Neither of us has slept for that long at all.” I grinned at her.

Her cheeks flooded with color and she hung her head down so her hair fell into a curtain hiding her face. I chuckled softly at her show of innocence before I reached up to grip her chin and make her look at me.

“Never hide from me. Never.” I ordered her in a soft but no less commanding voice.

A small smile appeared on her lips before her eyes hardened and she quickly made her way from the bed, taking the sheet with her to keep covered from my eyes.

 “You should take your own advice.” She growled out before she walked into the bathroom.

“WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?” I called out to her through the closed door. But she left me to puzzle over it as I heard the shower turn on. It was a clear signal that she wasn’t going to answer that question just yet. She was going to leave me to wonder about the meaning behind it. But I hadn’t the slightest clue what she was thinking. I never knew what she was thinking. And although tempted, I refuse to read her mind. I refused to give into the undeniable urge to link my mind to her and open hers so that I knew what she was thinking.