Hide And Seek ~ Josh Dun

Chapter 85

"There, that should cover it for now." Tyler says, scratching his head as he looks at his handy work. He has taken a blue tarp and taped it over the broken window, courtesy of Josh. Josh smiles softly at Tyler as he cradles his hurt hand on his tummy. Tyler looks over at me and offers a small smile.

"Thanks, Ty." I offer him the bag of Taco Bell, what I used to bribe him to come over. He grins and nods, grabbing the bag with one hand and using the other to ruffle up my hair.

Tyler leans against the wall, opening up a burrito. "Do you need me to do anything else? Do you need me to drive you to the docto-"

"I can still drive her." Josh speaks up, still just looking down at his bandaged hand. His hair is covering his eyes since he is looking down, so I can't tell what is going through his head right now.

"You sure bro? You can't hurt your hand anymore, we go back on tour in a week." Tyler scrunches his eyebrows. I go over to Josh and try to get him to look me in the eyes, but he gently moves me out of the way and stands up.

"Yeah, dude. I can handle driving. I'm going to go lay down for a bit." And with that, he disappears down the hallway. When I hear the bedroom door close, I let out a deep sigh.

"You might want to give him a couple of minutes to relax, and then go check on him. He's probably overthinking everything right now." Tyler places the burrito wrap into the bag which contains several others. Together, we walk to the front door in silence. "You take care of yourself today though, ok? If you need me and Jenna to come help, just text us. We are here for the both of you."

Tyler puts down the bag and wraps his arms tightly around me. Hugging Tyler is one of the feelings that make you seem like you found a home. He will rub or pat your back, and squeeze you extra tight, and just make sure you feel safe in general.

"Jenna and I love you, so make sure you do what you gotta to get better. Everyone misses you on tour. I need my singing buddy back." He let's go and places a brotherly kiss on the top of my head. He bends down and grabs his bag, opens another burrito, and waves goodbye as he walks out the door stuffing his face.

I continue to laugh at the image of Tyler as I straighten up the mess made today. I put tape back in the drawer and sweep up extra glass. Seeing Joshs blood on the floor hurts my heart, so I quickly clean it up as soon as possible. I didn't mean for him to hurt himself, I really didn't. I just didn't want to bother him with my problems anymore because he finally looked happy again.

Once all of the blood droplets are cleaned up, I slowly make my way to our bedroom. I open the door and see the shape of his body under the covers in our bed. As I make my way over, Lil Dun, who was sleeping on the end of the bed, raises his head. I scratch behind his ear and he goes back to bed, flopping back over.

I gently peel back the covers, trying my hardest not to disturb the sleeping Josh. His back is to me, and I can see his body moving with his breathing. I lightly trace my fingers along his bare back, something that used to calm him down when he is sick. I run my fingers over every curve that is on his back, getting so lost in what I'm doing that I don't even notice that his breathing has changed.

When Josh flips over, he pulls me into his chest, holding onto me. I draw circles on his chest, wanting to cry for some reason as he continues to hold on so tightly.

"I'm sorry. I just... I know there's not much I can do to help you with your condition, and I want to help more than anything. So I take pride in being able to help you with the little things, like driving you places, helping you breathe again. And when Tyler offered to drive you, I felt like I was a failure." Josh talks quietly, never once loosening his grip on me. I have to wiggle to back out of his arms so I can look up at his face. His face looks so emotionless, but his eyes show everything that is going through his head. I wrap my hand around the back of his neck and gently tilt his head downward so I can kiss his forehead.

"You help me more than you know, Josh. You've convinced me to go the the doctor, you've convinced me to go through with the surgery. Please don't let your head convince you that you haven't helped me enough." When I start talking, Josh buries his head into the crook of my neck. On my lower back, I can feel his hands shaking ever so slightly.

"I love you." His voice is soft, but full of emotion. I run my hand through his hair, trying my best to get him to relax.

"I love you more. We have a couple of hours before you drive me to the doctors, so I say we spend that time laying like this, together, yeah?"

Authors note~
Idk about you guys but shit has been tough lately. So I just wanted to say I love all of you, and all of you are so perfect and lovely. Stay strong, and Stay Alive. xoxo ~

If any of you need to talk add me on snapchat : BarkGoesKitten