Hide And Seek ~ Josh Dun

Chapter 67

~~~~~authors note~~~~~
Hey guys! THE STUFF IN ITALICS IS THE PAST. !!!!!!!
Thank you for reading so far xoxo I love it when you guys comment and stuff, it makes me happy! I don't know how much longer this book will last, but there will totally be a sequel! Have a great day xoxo ~~~~~

Now, that night is coming to an end.

Laying in Josh's arms, I stay still and stare out the window. The sun is starting to rise, adding color to his room. Everything is basked in an orange glow, giving the feeling that everything is on fire.

The sun will rise and we will try again.

Looking up at him, I want to cry. He looks so beautiful when the light casts shadows on him. His mouth is slightly open, allowing soft snores to come through. His head is angled slightly towards me, aimed towards the now rising sun.

I will fear the night again.

Our conversation from last night keeps on running through my head. How he needs me to go. He even got his family, Tyler, and Jenna to beg with him. But, I'm so scared.

I hope, I'm not my only friend.

They all said they would be there beside me, the whole way. But what if something is terribly wrong and everyone leaves me? I don't want them to be forced to deal with my problems.

*
"Abs, you need to go to the Doctors.." Josh said, sitting on the couch after our date last night. His whole family was sitting around, chatting amongst themselves. I sat down next to Josh, embarrassed about talking about this in front of his family.

"I know, I will go soon." I muttered out, and smiled at him. The look he gave me, was like he knew I was lying. His mom reached over and squeezed my hand, and nodded at Josh.

"I set up an appointment for you, Abby. It's for tomorrow afternoon." Josh whispered, looking down at his hands. My breathing stopped, panic rising. "I  know that's wrong for me to do, but I knew you wouldn't be able to..."

Tears almost fell out of my eyes, because I was scared shitless. Looking around at everyone, I saw that his whole family was nodding, and that Tyler and Jenna had somehow made it into the house. I bit my lip and tried to breathe, but it wouldn't work.

"I'm just worried about you, Baby... I need you to be ok and healthy. I'm gonna be by your side the whole time. Every appointment..."
*

I've been up all night, thinking about everything. How sad everyone looked. How Josh had talked like it physically hurt him. And how I so badly had just wanted to run away, to avoid the conversation.

But the look in Josh's eyes, I couldn't. He looked like he was the one who was sick, who was hurting. And it killed me to know I put him through all of this bullshit. So if it offers him less pain, I'll do it.

*
"Abby-Lynn?" I heard Josh's voice whisper through the darkness. After talking with the family, I had excused myself to his room, where I had been crying ever since. I tried wiping my tears quickly, and to steady my breathing, but it was too late, he had heard me crying.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry." He kept on repeating that, over and over again, holding me against his chest while I cried. After a while, it was silent, we were just clinging onto each other.

When he started singing, I started to cry again, but this time, I was careful to be quiet about it again.
*

When he sang that song, I could now see why he needed me to go to the doctors. I always seem to underestimate his love for me, but right now, I can see it all, feel it all. And god dammit, it felt good to be loved like this by him. That's why later today, I will be going to the doctors, for him. For my Josh.

Stay Alive, Stay Alive, For Me.