Confide in Hope | DARYL DIXON •2

41. Unsteady [pt. 1]

"Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees, time can break your heart, have you begging please."
Eric Clapton - Tears in Heaven

When the group got back to Alexandria, and the news spreading quickly about Abe and Glenn, the community fell silent. People talked to each other, but not normally. Rick had reunited with Judith, spending alone time with her and Carl, and even Michonne.

As for Alex, she stood in her house that she shared with Daryl, and sat in the middle of the bed that she shared also with him, remembering the love she felt and the talks they've had...

She remembered that time she made him take a shower with her after they got back from Hilltop, because her falling in the mud, and his dirtiness from since forever and everything. He didn't do it for him, really. He did it for her, because he loved seeing her happy.

And now that he's gone, he can't have that, and she can't bare the pain.

"Alex?" She heard a voice coming outside but chose to ignore it. "Alex?" The person repeated.

There was two soft knocks on the door, and Alex hummed. "Can I come in?"

Alex hummed again, not wanting to speak, fearing that she'll break down, officially.

The door opened, revealing Ryan, who walked in and sat down on the edge of the couch in her living room.

"I brought you some tea. Figured you could also need company." Ryan said, trying to hand Alex the small white teacup. She didn't budge. She just sat there, wrapped in one of Daryl's flannel, with sleeves, from back in the prison during the cold weather.

"No."

"Alex, you can't do this. Not right now." Ryan pleaded. "You have to get up, and get ready, okay? You can't do this right now."

"Get ready for what?" She stared blankly into her hands.

"To fight."

"To fight?" Alex started laughing. "You haven't seen him. You haven't seen how he is, what he's done. There's no fighting it. Not yet at least. Not for a very long time."

"But why is it different now? After all this time, everyone here has always fought against anything, anyone." Ryan said, standing up.

"Get out."

"What- Alex, come on now-"

"I said get out. I don't need you out of all people to be here. Leave." Alex demanded, standing up and pushing him out.

The door slammed shut, leaving Alex alone once again, within silence.

A few hours later, it began to get a little dark out, the sky a darker shade of blue. Alex had finally got up off the couch, still wrapped in one of Daryl's old flannel. The aftermath of what happened still affected her in every way possible. She didn't want to move and she didn't want to talk.

She wanted her best friend back, her love. She just wanted her Daryl.

Seeing her best friend die right in front of her made her isolate herself from the others even more. Rick didn't even try to see her, knowing that she wouldn't want to be bothered unless Daryl was back.

Sadly, he wouldn't be back for some time, and she knew that.

Rick had gone out looking for Alex all over. His last stop was her house, which he thought was stupid that he didn't check it in the first place.

"Alex... open up." Rick said. "Please." He knocked on the door twice.

No answer. But Alex was there. He was tempted to break the front door down, but he didn't, knowing that it would be another thing added to the list of many things to do in Alexandria.

"Alex, please. I know right now is hard, I just need you to please open up, before I go. I trust you, I love you. Please open." Rick shook his head and stepped side to side.

Before he could knock again, more harsh, Alex opened the door abruptly and stood there with her head down.

Rick saw how she looked. Her face was pale, she didn't look like her self. Her hair was pulled back, which it never was.

"Oh Alex." Rick pulled her in for a hug and embraced her with something she hadn't felt for a long time; comfort. "Come on, let's get you inside."

They walked inside and sat together on her couch, as she stood quiet.

"I'm leaving in two days. With Aaron. Gotta go on this supply run for... for uh Negan." Rick spoke softly. "I know you disagree with this, everything. But I'm not in charge anymore. And I need to let everyone know today."

"I get it." Her voice was raw, and still very rough from the crying and yelling she'd been doing these past two or more days.

"I'm sorry." Rick spoke.

"My best friend is gone. My guy got taken away from me. My guy got taken away from me again. I just got him back only to have him be ripped out of my arms. How do you do it, Rick?" Alex asked, laying her head on his shoulder as he sighed.

"Do what?"

"Love someone, knowing that ant minute and any day they could just disappear from you. They can die any time." Alex said.

"I had a wife. She and I had Carl together. Long story short, we weren't with each other during the start of this world. Then, I finally found her with Carl and a group. Daryl was there. Carol. Things were never the same between me and her again. I guess she fell in love with my best friend when I wasn't around. She had Judith, and died right there with Carl at the prison.

I love her, always will. I love Carl, and I love Judith, even though she's not mine. I loved my wife no matter what happened between us. Even after she was gone, I kept her with me."

"What about now, how can you love again? And keep loving during this?" Alex asked, intrigued at how he can love no matter what.

"Michonne." He answered. "She gives me the feeling of familiarness. She's one out of many person that's worth fighting for. And so is Daryl." Rick squeezed Alex's arm.

"Are we ever gonna be okay?" Alex whispered, her eyes shedding some tears.

"I don't know." Rick said. "I don't know. But what I do know; we're going to see him again. You're going to see him. You're going to get your guy, and I'm going to get my brother back."

-
PLEASE READ

So the talk with Rick is kinda the same talk michonne and him had about Judith not being his- but I wanted Rick and Alex to have somewhat the same conversation to that Alex will start having her confidence back.

None of the links to watch all of season 7 episodes are working for me, and for the AMC app, I do not have a cable provider to watch it :( sorry for the delays of chapters, this is not how I planned on this!
❤️ remember to comment!

-I AM NOT GIVING UP ON THIS STORY, I WONT EVER GIVE UP ON ALEX AND DARYL'S STORY! Updates are going to happen more often soooon!-