Ripped at the Seams

Chapter 6

                It was the next morning and Kianna was outside sitting on the balcony she hardly got any sleep because she couldn't stop thinking about the conversation her and Roman had last night. She was starting to have mix feelings because she couldn't tell if he really had feelings for her or if all he wanted was sex from her. As she sat on outside she replayed their conversation in her head.

"What's wrong baby, why are you so quite?" Roman asks her as he keeps caressing the small of her back.

Kianna sighed and spoke, "I'm just thinking" she told him as she cuddled closer to him.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks her worried at what she might say.

"About us and your intentions with me?" as she sat up and was about to get dressed he stopped her and sat up next to her.

"What about us and what do you mean my intentions with you?" his heart was racing now and they were both worried about what the other was going to say.

"Come on Roman what are we doing, I mean I'm starting to have feelings for you and I need to know if you feel the same way I do, or is this still just about sex with you?

"Where is all this coming from?" he ask her puzzled.

"Every guy that I have ever been with only keeps me around because of the sex not because they actually saw a future with me, so I want to know if this time is going to be different or am I just wasting my time."

"I do you have feeling for you too but I'm not ready for a relationship I like how things are right now" Kianna's heart ached a little when he said that but she was glad that he was being honest with her.

"Thank you for your honesty, but I don't want there to be just sex between us I want something more than that something real because once men find out about my past that's all they care about is  having Kianna Rico the porn star on their arm and they don't care about Kianna Rico the small town girl from Austin Texas who has big dreams and wear her heart on her sleeve." As tears filled her eyes she knew she did want  to be honest with him and open up to him.

"I'm sorry you feel like that but I'm not all those other guys yes things didn't start off great between us but that doesn't mean that I don't have feelings for you and yes it was all about sex and that's all I want for now I'm sorry if you want something more but I'm not the guy who can give it to you."

Kianna got up to go to the bathroom to hide because she didn't want Roman to see her cry. As she cried in the bathroom Roman felt bad for upsetting her but she couldn't fault him for telling her the truth. He knocked on the door to see if she would let him in so they could finish talking.

"Kianna, please open the door baby I'm sorry"

"Go away please, just leave me alone" as she kept crying he could hear her and it made him feel even worse.

"Please just open the damn door so we can talk about this I don't mean to hurt you I'm just being honest with you, would you rather I lie to you and tell you what you want to hear.

"No" she said as she opened the door to let him in.

He sat on the floor in front of her as she sat on the closed toilet seat with her head in her hands and tried to hold back tears. Roman moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her and just held her and whispered in her ear.

"Tell me what's really bothering you, what brought all of this up?" as he wiped the tears from her eyes and waited for her to speak.

"It's about why I started to do porn and how I hate that part of my life and why I don't like being reminded of my past." She said nervously she took a deep breathe before she spoke again.