Our Song (18+ Mature)

Chapter 44: War

"Nate, that's not it. Please try to understand me." Humigpit ang pagkakahawak niya.

No. Hindi ito maaari.

"What changed?" Tanong ko na nagpipigil na umiyak.

"This is wrong. This is not yet the right time." 

"When will be the right time, Alex?" 

"I don't know. Two or three years from now?" Naguguluhan niyang sagot.

Damn it. Hindi naman sa hindi ako handang maghintay.
Nararamdaman ko lang na gusto niya akong maghintay sa wala.

"Tell me, what changed? Who changed your mind?" There. I threw the question.

She bit her trembling lip and tightened her grip on my hand.

"Nate, I-I--" Hindi niya maituloy-tuloy ang sasabihin niya dahil umiyak na naman siya.

"Ang gagong Yoshinori na naman ba, Alex?" Galit kong tanong.

She nodded and bursts into sobs again.

Shit. Fuck. 

That Yoshiniri guy keeps on ruining her. He keeps on making Alex a wreck.

"What did he do to you? How?" Tumulo ang luha sa kanang pisngi ko.

"Sinaktan ka ba niya? Siya ba ang kausap mo bago ka nag-breakdown kanina?"

"Ano? Sagutin mo ako!" Sigaw ko sa kanya at napapitlag naman siya.

"Oo! We had a confrontation!" Her eyes glaring at me.

"Hindi lang siya ang nasaktan at nawalan ng anak, Nate! Napaka-selfish ko!" Sigaw niya.

"I monopolized the pain not knowing that we're sharing the same struggles." Hagulgol niya.

"Pareho kaming nawalan ng anak. And I took that opportunity away from him. Ipinagkait ko sa kanya ang makasama ang baby namin dahil
sa katangahan ko. At nang mawala ang anghel namin ay sinarili ko ulit. Hindi ko man lang naisip na naghihintay siya sa pagbabalik namin.
Ang sama-sama ko, Nate! Ang sama kong babae at ina!" She sobbed harder as she keeps on punching her chest.

Damn. Seeing Alex like this tears me apart. 

I pulled her in a hug to soothe her. But she pulled out of the embrace and shook her head at me.

I knew it. 

No. Hindi kita bibitawan.

"Nate, just let go. You don't deserve a woman like me. You deserve the best. Someone who will love you unconditionally. Someone who is whole." She msiled sadly.

"You're perfect to me. For me. Ikaw lang ang gusto kong makasama habang-buhay, Alex." 

"Hindi mo ako naiintindihan, Nate." She sounded so defeated.

Then it clicked. 

Mahal niya pa rin si Andrew Yoshinori.

No. I've gone this far. We went this far.
Ngayon pa ba ako susuko?

No way.

With a determined voice, I looked at her and kissed her briefly.

"You're mine, Alex. I will fight for you. Kahit magkamatayan pa kami ni Yoshinori.
Hindi kita basta isusuko na lang sa kanya. You don't deserve a man like that." Pangungumbinsi ko sa kanya.

"Ako lang. Tayo ang nararapat sa isa't-isa."

At pinaharurot ko na ang sasakyan.

Matapos ang ilang minuto ay wala ng imikan sa sasakyan.
Nagmaneho na lang ako papunta sa condo niya.