Not Good At Not ✔

Chapter 7

"It's stupid", I sighed pushing my notebook away from me. Miles sighed before pushing it back towards me. "It's not stupid, it's chemistry", he gave me a look before trying to explain the concept again. I thought not understanding school work ended in high school but things only get more complicated.

"Come just try again", Miles said. I was frustrated that I couldn't get a simple concept but sighed before trying again.

"There you go", he smiled.

I pushed a loose hair behind my ear and looked at Miles. "I should just drop out", I laughed softly.

"No, you shouldn't. It's okay that you aren't understanding this. It took me almost a week to understand this, it's complicated.", Miles said.

He was so understanding, he was patient with me. There was nothing wrong with how I was learning or anything like that.

"It just seems so simple", I told Miles.

He shook his head, "It's not, it only seems that way because you're beginning to understand it.", He gave me a soft smile. He placed his hand on top of mine and I felt warm all over. "Anna, you're doing fine. Better than most of the other students in the class. College isn't easy", Miles said gently.

"Thank you for taking the time to help me", I said packing my stuff into my bad.

"Anytime, I'm always here", Miles said sitting back in his chair.

"I should get going, my brother is in town and I feel bad not spending much time with him", I grabbed my bag and put the strap over my shoulder.

"How long is he here for?", Miles asked.

"Uh, just a few days. I think he's leaving Monday.".

I stood up and Miles did too. He walked me to the door and I turned to him. "You're here all the time, why?", I asked folding my arms. Miles looked down then into my eyes. "It's better than being home alone, I guess. My house is too quiet to stay there for a long period of time.", He nodded towards me.

"What about you? What made you want to stay on campus instead of being home.", he looked at me seeming very interested in my answer.

"My parents died when I was little and It's only ever been me and my brother. When I got to decide if I wanted to be home or on campus, I decided that I should be on my own. Let my brother be alone for a while meeting someone and start his life, which he is, he's having a baby with his girlfriend. I guess I stayed on campus to try and start my life", I said shrugging.

It was true, my brother needed time away from me. He's always been so worried about me he probably wouldn't have found Ruby if I had stayed home. He needed to have a life and he needed to meet someone to start a family with. It couldn't have been just me and him forever. We needed something more, something new and good for us. In my brother's case it's Ruby and their baby, for me it was college.

"I'm sorry to hear about your parents. Your brother seems like a good person. Your brother sounds like he's happy with what he has. His girlfriend, the baby he's having, and you. Are you happy with what you have?", Miles asked.

I was happy with what I had, wasn't I? I was grateful for Zoey, Luke, my brother, and Ruby. There was this empty feeling I've always had.

"I guess I am. I mean, of course, I am but you know", I trailed off.

"There's something missing", he finished my sentence. I nodded and Miles nodded back. "I know what you mean.".

It felt like Miles really did understand what I meant. I guess that's what makes me more attractive to him is that he's so easy to talk to and he understands everything. He's not complicated and he outgoing. I turned my attention away from Miles. I liked Miles a lot, not like a student likes a teacher but like a woman likes a man. I was crushing on Miles, hard.

"I should go", I said. Miles walked me out of the class, I waved bye before walking away to my dorm.

••••
I grabbed the bowl of popcorn that Matthew was holding out. He plopped down on the hotel bed next to me groaning as he did so. "Shh", I waved at him as I watched the movie before stuffing popcorn in my mouth.

"Why do you like this movie so much?", he asked pointing to the tv.

"Because it's a good movie and romantic", I said.

Matthew snorted in laughter, "Anna, she's a cartoon that turns human.", Matthew said.

I rolled my eyes. Enchanted, was one of my favorite movies growing up. I used to pretend I could sing to animals and have them dress me when I was about five. I always dreamed of having a Prince until I watched Enchanted, then I wanted to find myself a Robert. Robert was the guy Gisselle ended up loving instead of the Prince. I wanted a Chipmunk for the longest after watching Enchanted. I was going to name him Pip just like the movie too. I had begged my mother to get me one but she said that I couldn't.  I even tried to convince Matthew but he said no.

When the movie was over I turned the Tv off before turning to Matthew.

"I'm tired", I said crawling into the bedsheets.

"Then let's nap because I am too", Matthew smiles. He laid back and sighed.

Matthew and I would always take naps together when we were little. Even after our parents died we only had each other.

I closed my eyes before drifting off to sleep. I was tired but I didn't know why. I was exhausted.