Drew.

CHAPTER 12

Lynns POV

The trip to the hospital was filled with a tense silence. Jackson sat next to me but didn't speak a word to me. I didn't want to speak to anyone. The only person I really wanted to talk to at that moment was Drew. But how could I? He's most likely already at the hospital going into an emergency room right now; barely holding onto his life all because of that one drunk driver and Zach. Yet I still felt to blame for it. Of course, he'd be so lucky that this would happen when he first decided to properly date a girl. I must be bad luck. First I threaten Joey's life and now Drews. It feels like a chunk of my heart has been ripped out of my chest, I can still feel what's left of it ripping to shreds. 

Every second we get closer to the hospital I get even more anxious about the condition he could be in, he might even be dead. My throat felt tight as I struggled for breath at the thought of him not being here anymore. Seeing his cold pale face laying there staring into nothing. How can this be happening?

I saw the building getting closer to us.  We were nearly there. I was already out of the car before  Hilary had parked the truck in the car park; I sprinted for the double doors and pushed them open with the strongest force I'd ever exerted, and ran to the front desk quickly. "I'm looking for a Drew Johnson?" I asked hurriedly with my raspy voice filled with panic. The lady looked up at me with sympathy after seeing my state. She must know exactly who I'm talking about. After being in this small town called Jacksonville for a few weeks now I've learnt that talk spreads like wildfire here, just as quickly as it did back at home. I wouldn't be surprised if Mr Andrea, who owned the corner shop, knew about the drunk driving incident already despite it happening 20 minutes ago. "Dear, he is in the emergency room right now, he needed surgery and quick, I'm sorry but you can't see him right now," she said sadly looking at me in pity.

"Please, I need to see him" I chocked out more tears threatening to spill. My heart dropped knowing at the back of my head I didn't want to see him whilst he was being cut open and operated on. A part of me felt that it was better than nothing. Better than seeing him without a pulse.

"Sorry dear it's against the rules, not to mention the law, but you can wait in the waiting area on his floor if you want? He might be another few hours though he was in a terribly bad shape," she said I nodded and waited for her to get his location. "He's on floor 6 and for after the surgery he'll be in room 137". I thanked her and started to run to the elevator and waited for it to arrive. It felt like it had been hours before it came and it felt like years before I got to the sixth floor.

As soon as I got up there I searched frantically for his room, I found it and looked through the window looking at the plain white walls. A couple of health posters were stuck to the wall, along with sheets holding all the information about the patients inside the room. No one was in there yet. Yet. I could only hope he'd be in there soon out of making it through the surgery going on right now. He'd recover in no time and go back to school and get into a college and we'd be therefore one another through it all. That is if he makes it.

I retreated back to the waiting area and sat down in one of the uncomfortable plastic seats and hugged my knees to my chest just wanting to be in Drew's arms right now hugging him. This shouldn't be happening he should be out today and enjoying his break with his family, or with me as he had planned to. I squeezed my eyes shut as I began to cry not knowing how he was managing in the emergency room.

I heard footsteps coming down the hall but didn't quiet down my sobs and cries, and even if I wanted to they wouldn't stop. Tears flowed out my eyes like the rain pouring out of the clouds on a gloomy day. I looked up as I heard a newborn babies cry it made me smile despite my tragic state but it didn't stop my cries. A young man about the age of 24 walked out of the room with a happy smile on his face. He was obviously calling someone and had good news. I stared at him seeing him as Drew in the future, causing me to feel nauseous and feel like throwing up and I considered him not being able to experience life if he dies today. Thinking about our conversation before he passed out. Our life together might never happen now, thanks to me, Zach and the drunk driver. The man ended the call and looked over at me as tears ran down my face while staring at him, he smiled sympathetically and waved, before walking back into the room. I cried for the life Drew may never get to have even if it isn't with me.

There are only two reasons you'd be at a hospital. For something good or for something bad. Unlucky for me I'm the latter along with Drew but that doesn't mean that only bad comes from the hospital. Every 4 seconds a baby is born and that is beautiful. Whether they live a long full life or a few months is unknown but they're born here. In this wonderfully horrible place. I hate hospitals. The fear evoked me whenever I had to go to doctors when I was younger. The fire of my anxiety consumed my body at the thought of finding out something was wrong with me. It was something I've dreaded all my life. But being here now the only anxiety I felt was the one for Drew. 

I slowly felt myself getting exhausted from crying and lack of food. Some of the doctors had come out but more had gone in. I was getting worried as time passed on, what if he had passed on. What would I do? How could I live without him? How would his family cope? How would I cope? Self-harm? Drugs? Alcohol? Mourn for the rest of my life? I don't know the answer, but I know I won't feel good about it. I couldn't lose another person in my life, not after losing Joe, not after losing my father, I couldn't deal with it anymore. I felt my eyelids getting heavier and I closed them just for a second with thoughts swirling in my head. Why did it have to be Drew? The selfishness feelings I felt after wishing it was someone other than Drew sickened me slightly. I could never wish this upon someone else, but it wasn't fair for it to be Drew. He is so wonderful. He was so wonderful.