Running with the Wolves

chapter 30: exhale

We move away from the crowd and stand behind the building where the locker rooms are located.

We are close enough to see Stiles and what is happening in the game, but still far away enough from the crowd.

I'm tugging on my mom's necklace, not sure what to expect.

Kira takes notice and places her hand on my shoulder.

"It'll be fine." she says in a comforting tone. "You can do this."

"Thanks." I say with a smile.

"Stiles will not be starting the game but Scott and Liam will." Deaton says. "But that's ok, I want to see how you react to pain before seeing how you respond to the pain Stiles feels. Like I said before, they can be different. You'll feel Stiles' pain on a greater scale and more directly."

"Deaton, if I can feel Stiles pain from a great distance, does that mean I can absorb it from far away too? Like, can I take his pain?" I ask.

"That's a good question." Deaton says. "The answer depends on your range. You are absorbing, in a way, the pain around you. You are feeling the pain around you with out necessarily removing it from it's source. That's something you'll learn to do with time, once we figure out your range "

"I know, it's a little confusing." he says after.

"So, whenever I feel pain, without directly absorbing it from the source, I'm not taking away anyones pain?" I ask.

"Exactly. You feel the pain around you because you are now very sensitive to that, you are more aware." he answers. "Think of it as two separate things if it helps. You allow yourself to feel the pain around you. This will let you know if someone is hurt or in any kind of pain. Then, using your range you absorb their pain, directly taking it from them."

I nod, trying to understand all of this.

"Right now, we'll just focus on allowing yourself to feel the pain around you, then how to rid yourself of it and how to completely block it. This will all become second nature to you with time."

I nod again, not sure what to say.

The whistle blows, indicating the game has officially started.

"I want you to allow yourself to feel the pain around you. Close your eyes. Try to relax. Remember, there's pain all around us, allow yourself to feel it." Deaton says.

I do as I'm told.

The entire day I was avoiding doing this. Avoiding allowing myself to feel this.

I can hear the sounds of players crashing into each other, the sounds of helmets making contact.

I close my eyes and take slow and deep breathes, not thinking of pushing anything away. As I let myself take in the pain around me, with every passing second I can feel the pressure in my head intensify, just like before. My headache intensifies as well.

It's not an overwhelming amount of pain, like when I was taken to the hospital, but it's enough for me to take my head between my hands.

"Where do you feel the pain?" Deaton asks.

"My head." I quickly say.

"Ok, I want you to visualize the pain going from your head and evenly spreading throughout your body, so that even your toes feel the pain. This is going to help ease the pain." he says.

I try but it doesn't work.

"Try again, concentrate. Visualize it." Deaton says.

visualize it.