The Cosmic Princess

Trust

Song: Kat Dahlia- Fucking Trust

Arms crossed, Ike and I did not say much as we headed back to the main village. The normally lively, welcoming forest felt frigid as Ike and I walked side by side. Not one word was spoken between the two us and I could feel the bond churning uneasily.

Everything felt off now. The relationship Ike and I had been building didn't feel the same anymore, and I didn't know why.

"That's called a lack of trust." My voice soothed my questions. "The trust that you have for Ike is at an all time low honey."

It was true. Ike did explain to me that Teelah had basically bamboozled them by using their memories of her against them to influence them and make her seem like a victim constantly. She had entangled their memories so bad that they constantly saw images of her when she needed saving to induce sympathy, which made it easier for her to make me look like bad guy. However, while my friends and him may have been influenced by her, it still didn't take away from the fact that they still had the will power to do what was right. I guess though that when it came down to it, based off of how Teelah managed to make me look like a bad guy and how she used her powers, my friends had been fighting a losing battle anyways.

But still, a part of me argued.

I didn't want to excuse their actions because when it came down to it, they all turned their backs on me when I needed it the most. And I couldn't just let that go. The whole situation sucked because it just wasn't black or white, but a gray in between that had influenced everything. They had been hoodwinked, yet there had been doubt which made her powers work so greatly.

Yeah, the entire situation was set up and the way she had been begging me to stop created the doubt, and yeah at that time I did look like the bad guy, and also maybe I even would have been slightly wary but I still would have listened, had their backs I do believe. It was just disappointing either way I looked at it. I guess realizing that not everyone would do as I would and not everyone had my type of heart made me upset. Just because everything had just been so unfair, but I knew life wasn't fair.

But still, I told myself.

I cast a side glance at Ike to see a troubled expression on his face, slowly I turned away with a small sigh. I loved Ike, and I wanted this relationship to work. I wanted this relationship to work with every fiber in my being. It was a relationship chosen by the goddess herself, but how could I make it work when I didn't have the same trust I had in him at the beginning of this quest. We were kindred spirits, yet it felt like we were strangers and were walking on broken shards of trust that had once been whole. We had our disagreements and we had our setbacks, but at least the trust had been there. But look at us now.

How could I trust a guy who probably thought I would fuck up at every moment because apparently I was reckless and impulsive. And I may be those two things, but my recklessness and impulsiveness have gotten me pretty far. What hurt the most with Ike was that I now realized he didn't support my decisions and actions. Even looking back in the past, I could point out times when he hit down my ideas and actions because he found them too irresponsible and thoughtless. Yeah, many times he hit the ideas down because he was just worried for my safety but a lot of times he just thought what I did was too negligent. His lack of support and mentality that I was too reckless for my own good was the reason why we tended to butt heads all the time. If this bond between us would ever work, I needed his support and honestly, he really hadn't shown much at all. That was one of the things that hurt me the most about him.

"Avril." Ike broke the tense silence with a tired sigh. "I have no idea how I'm going to make it up to you."

"You don't deserve it." I snapped suddenly pulling myself out of my reverie with hostility still flowing through me at my realization, but abruptly I cooled down. One minute I was fired up ready to tear Ike apart, and the next I was just too tired and just wanted to let it go. It was amazing what a near death experience could do to you. Everything worldly suddenly turned trivial, and none of it seemed to matter anymore.