The Princess of The Ambrose Asylum ( Book 1of 3)

20

I didn't sleep much that night.

Actually, to tell the truth, I barely slept at all.

I spent the entire night lying in my bed, staring blankly up at the white ceiling above me, willing sleep to come even though I knew it never would. It evaded me, my brain not switching off for a single instant in order for it to come and allow me some form of escape.

Too many thoughts flashed through my mind, so many emotions crossed my face, too much anxiety, worry and shock hit my body. I felt constantly on edge, like the littlest thing could make me laugh or cry. So I knew there was no chance I was getting any rest.

But how could I? After what had happened, how the fuck could I?

My best friend, a man I'd known since I was 13 years old, had kissed me totally out of the blue, and my head couldn't quite wrap itself around the situation.

It was like I wasn't able to believe it, like the whole thing was so unexpected that a part of me questioned whether it was real, whether I'd perhaps gotten so drunk that I'd either kissed him or it hadn't happened at all!

But no, that wasn't what happened.

I hadn't kissed him drunkenly, and the situation was a true one.

Randy Orton, my friend of over 12 years had kissed me.

I'd sobered up from my tipsy state the second his lips touched mine, the whole thing feeling as real as the nose on my face. It wasn't a drunken mistake, not at all. It was something he had done. His judgement hadn't been clouded by drink, it was something he'd done sober, something he'd clearly wanted to do, and now I didn't know how to react or how to feel.

How can you feel after that happens to you?

Numb? Shocked? Puzzled? Lost? Confused?

Well I felt all those things.

Literally, what the fuck had happened?

Where had it come from? It was so random, so unexpected, so out of the blue.

Randy had never once given me clues that he liked me. And even if he had, I had totally missed them and had not taken them in or registered them in my head. He was my friend, my best buddy, the man that I looked up to like a brother. And maybe because I saw him like this, my mind had subconsciously blocked out any advances he'd made towards me. I'd known him since I was a kid, since I was a young girl. And I never thought this could happen.

Anything he'd ever done for me, I'd always assumed was part of our friendship. Yes, he was attentive, caring and constantly around me, but he'd done that since I was a kid, so I assumed it was a continuation of that. Never in a million years did I ever figure that anything he'd done for me had been a form of romantic affection. Never did I once guess that his feelings for me went beyond that of friendship.

When had it changed? When had his feelings turned? Clearly he hadn't liked me in that way as a child. That would have been beyond creepy and weird and rather illegal. So when had his brotherly love become something more?

It wasn't fair. Why did he have to throw a spanner in the works like this? He was my friend, my best friend! We had such a great relationship and the best friendship anyone could ever ask for. I didn't understand why he'd now had to throw feelings into the mix. Things were great as they were, and now everything was screwed up and crazy because he'd decided to like me and ruin everything we had.

He liked me, he actually liked me... and I wasn't sure how to feel about him.

I loved Randy, of course I did, but it wasn't the love of a man and a woman. It was the love of two best friends who'd known each other for a lifetime. Randy was handsome, successful, funny, kind, caring... he was a woman's dream. But I wasn't sure if I could see him as more than my best friend. He clearly saw romantic potential in me... but could I see it in him? Could I like him, love him, want to spend the rest of my life with him?