I didn't know what to do or say. So I just hung up. I place my hand over my chest to feel the rapid beat of my heart and close my eyes. I knew he still loved me, but I didn't think he'd actually admit it. Because when you admit things like that on the phone, you get hung up on. Chills are sent throughout my body the more I think of him still loving me. The more I think of him kissing me. The more I think of him. The more I want to be with him. But I will try everything I can to stop that from happening. Everything between us ended years ago and it's going to stay that way. I just have to stand my ground and not give in to his sweet talk no matter how badly I want to. No matter how badly I just want him to wrap his arms around me and feel his full pink lips against mine.
Ugh, those lips. They are like magic. I still remember the way he used them against me. The way they would linger upon mine. They way they sucked at my neck and my sensitive areas. The way they would whisper, 'I love you, Riley.' in the sweetest voice ever. I miss the way they would kiss my temple. Though we weren't together long, he did it often. Also the way he would play with his bottom lip when he was either thinking or nervous. Or just trying to be cute.
Then those emerald green eyes. The way they would tear up when he was hurt from what a bully did to him, or whenever something happened between us whether it was a sweet moment, or an arguing moment. Those eyes still hypnotized me... Every time they would look in my direction. The way they would stare into mine when we were making love, or just sitting there, smiling and staring at each other. When we'd wake up from a nap and he'd blink lazily, and slowly open his eye lids to reveal those gorgeous mint green eyes. He has the most prettiest eyes ever. The prettiest I've seen.
Then there's his hands. Those big palms, and extremely long fingers. The way they would push loose strands out of my face and behind my ear. The way they held onto my waist and the way they would brush over my lips after we kissed. The way that they would touch me before making love. And my favorite... The way they would intertwine with my fingers, fitting like a puzzle piece.
He is my missing puzzle piece.
I sigh before standing up and walking to the stove to get my soup, and after eating, I head to bed. But I of course couldn't sleep because he just had to be on my mind. Like, who does he think he is? Breaking up with me then three years later telling me that he's still in love with the girl he fell in love with in 10th grade. If he really was in love with me for the past six years, he never would have let me go.
Oh of course. That one annoying saying pops into my head.
'If you love something, set it free. If it doesn't come back, it wasn't meant to be.'
I roll my eyes and shut my light off, finally trying to get some sleep.
-
I yawn as I walk to the bathroom. Evie followed me of course and laid on the cold tiled floor until I was done. As I wash my hands, Evie tries jumping up to the toilet to get a drink, but she's still a puppy so she's too small. I pick her up and grab my phone off of my bed before walking out to the kitchen and filling her food and water bowel. She runs to her bowels and starts to eat. I check my phone and it's only 8:32 am. I hate waking up early, so much. Maybe I'll just go to the cafe. I honestly have a weird obsession with the cafe I live by. I've been going ever since I was a little girl with my dad. Speaking of my dad, I haven't visited his grave in almost two years.
I scurry off to my room and grab a pair of skinny jeans, a purple long sleeved shirt, panties, and a bra then run off to the bathroom to get a shower. Afterwards, I blow dry my hair and it turns to it's natural waves. As usual, I don't put makeup on. The only reason I wore makeup yesterday was for Zayn and it was bothering the hell out of me. After getting fully dressed, I walk to my closet and pull out my black flats and slip them on. I look through my top dresser drawer and grab my grey lace beanie made out of soft material and put it on. I spray my Paris Hilton perfume over my body and take in the sweet smell before walking to the front door and slipping on my peacoat.
I debate on driving, but I decide against it since I feel very warmed up and the fact that I haven't exercised in months could also be a reason why I decide to walk. Well plus, the cafe isn't far.
As I'm walking down the street, I watch some people walk their dogs and I feel bad because I didn't walk Evie. But I can't bring her into the cafe shop and I won't leave her outside because someone will for sure steal my precious baby girl. I sort of regret walking due to the fact that it's only 40 degrees out. I bring my hands up to my mouth and blow my warm breath into them, instantly heating up. I rub my hands together just as I reach the cafe. I enter and I'm quickly relieved by the heat from the shop and the smell of coffee and tea. I walk to the front counter and order a pumpkin spice latte. I notice that it's awfully quiet in the shop but then I remember how early it is.
"That'll be $1.50." The young girl who looked about sixteen says. I stop and feel in my peacoat pockets for my little pink wallet, but I don't have it. I realize that I don't have my purse either. I lean forward slightly and apologize. "Uh, I'm sorry. I forgot my wallet and I can't pay for it. I'm sorry that you just wasted your time making that." I frown and go to turn around but someone's hand flies past my face, handing over exactly a dollar and 50 cents. I know those hands anywhere. I turn around and my eyes meet the familiar cheeky grin.
"I'll pay." He simply says and I turn back around to receive my pumpkin spice latte. I turn around and smile.
"Thanks, Marcel." I walk towards a table and sit down before pulling out my phone. This is all I do at awkward moments. I take out my phone and act like I'm interested in something on my screen but really I'm just nervous and try to act as if I'm busy and don't have time to talk. But that would never stop Marcel. He stood beside my table and I look up. He looks nervous and I could tell by his rosy cheeks. Or it could just be from the cold weather.
"Wanna sit with me? Maybe?" He points to a two seated table with books open and a hot tea placed next to it.
"Sure." I stand up and we make our way to his table. When we sit down, he immediately starts reading whatever is written in those big books. I stayed silent for a good three minutes before clearing my throat, earning his full attention.
"What are you reading?" I ask a bit quietly but I know he heard me when he parts his lips to speak.
"Oh, I'm just studying for medical school. I usually come on Sunday mornings when it's quiet. It helps me concentrate." He flips the page and his eyes meet mine. "Did you want to talk or something?" He closes his book. "Actually, I do." I answer honestly and take a sip of my hot beverage. He raises his eyebrows and crosses his arms on the table, listening to the conversation that I'm about to start. "Just about last nig-"
"Sh." He holds his hand up and we both listen closely. I want to run when I hear the familiar song playing throughout the cafe. I lean my elbows on the table and cover my face. The last few days, I'll Be has been playing all over the radio as if they knew I was listening. Marcel gently pulls my hands away from my face.
"Excuse me, miss. I may have to ask you to put your hands down. I need to see that beautiful face of yours." He whispers. I still remember the night we were laying in my bed, waiting for Brit and Austin to come back upstairs and I covered my face so he said that to me. My heart flutters at the memory and he pulls my hand, signaling for me to stand up. He puts my arms over his shoulders and I intertwine my fingers behind his head and he holds onto my waist.
"Marcel, what are we doin-"
"Riley, just hush and dance with me." He ordered and that's exactly what I did. I lay my head on his chest and he sways us back and forth the way he did in the room I stayed in at his house.
"I'll be your crying shoulder. I'll be love's suicide. And I'll be better when I'm older. I'll be the greatest fan of your life." He whispered the lyrics in my ear and the girl turns the volume up. "Rain falls angry on the tin roof as we lie awake in my bed. And you're my survival. You're my living proof. My love is alive and not dead. And tell me that we belong together-"
"We belong together." I whisper in his ear and he stops singing but continues to sway us. He tightens his grip around me and lays his head on my shoulder. His familiar scent fills my nostrils and I close my eyes, taking this moment in. Our song continues to play and I smile the whole time. When it's over, I'm tapped on the shoulder and I lift my head and Marcel does also. The young girl from behind the counter stood beside us with a smile on her face.
"Uh, I was just wondering if I could get a picture of you two so we can hang it up on our wall. I was informed by Mrs.Peach, the owner of the cafe, that you two come to this cafe the most out of everyone in town and she informed me that the next time I see the two of you, I need to ask for a picture, plus I see the two of you so much that I now know your names." She laughs. "And what a coincidence that I see the two of you here, together." She explains shyly. Marcel looks at me, asking for my approval and I nod. She squeals in excitement and holds the camera up. "Ok, Riley, look up at Marcel and smile, but wrap your arms around his torso. Marcel, look down at Riley with a smile on your face and keep your arms wrapped around her just like that." She says.
We do as we're told and I could have melted in his arms right then and there. The way he stared into my eyes put a real smile on my face. It wasn't a forced smile and it wasn't fake. He smiled back and after she snaps the picture, we stay in the exact position.
"Um, you guys I already took the picture." She informs us, but we completely ignore her.
"You're still so beautiful, Riley." He whispers and the girl walks away. I feel myself blush and I look down, it being a habit due to the fact that I don't want him to see my flustered complexion. He places his thumb and index finger under my chin, tilting my head up. "Can I kiss you?" He asks, his voice soft but also filled with concern. I nod. I need to feel his lips against mine and soon I do. His lips moved against mine and I bring both of my hands up to his jaws, kissing back. He places one of his hands on the back of my head and the other on my cheek. My stomach twists and my heart is beating so fast. I never wanted this moment to end, but I knew it had to.
He barely pulls away and presses his forehead against mine, closing his eyes. I feel his hot breath on my lips and that's when I close my eyes and I smile.
"I miss you, Marcel." I squeak. I open my eyes and I see he's smiling.
"I miss you so much more, Riley."
