If We Just Lay Here // Dan Howell

Chapter 30

You and Phil get in a cab and drive to the airport. During the entire journey, you think about how you came to America hoping of something that would change your life. Little did you know, that 'something' was leaving Dan forever, not falling in love with him. You can't describe any of the emotions you are feeling at this moment in time. You're just hurting. You feel like someone has taken your heart, put it through a shredder and then put it back inside you. Nothing feels right at all. You feel like you could  run into an empty room and scream out all the pain you are experiencing but on the other hand, you want to just give up on life all together.

What's the point in living if your source of happiness is gone?

The cab driver pulls into the airport car park and you and Phil get out. Phil walks over to the boot of the car and pulls out your suitcase.

"Are you sure you want to go alone?" Phil asks, passing you your case.

"Yes" You reply, "Thanks for helping me out Phil, I feel so bad all of this pressure on you."

"No it's absolutely fine! It's not fair that we brought you here to leave upset. I seriously can't believe Dan." Phil responds, walking into the entrance of the airport.

You follow Phil into the airport and walk over to the desk.

"I'll get your ticket, it's the least I can do" Phil tells you, pulling his wallet out from his back pocket, "You go and take a seat"

"Thank you" You smile.

You walk over to the row of green chairs and take a seat. It really has come to this. You remember that Dan had your phone so you panic and open your case, quickly searching through all of your things. You notice Dan's black jumper in the case which you must have thrown in there by mistake. As if it was fate, your phone is in the front pocket of the jumper.

What was it doing in there?

You try not to think about it and turn it on instead. Despite the thousands of twitter notifications flooding your screen, there is a few missed calls from your Mum on there too. You dial her number and place your phone to your ear.

"Hello?" You say.

"Hello is this (y/n), (y/m/n)'s daughter?" An unfamiliar voice says over the phone.

"Yes it is, why? What's happened?" You respond quickly.

"I'm sorry to tell you but your Mother has been very ill lately and she has asked that you visit her immediately."

"Oh" You say.

You haven't seen your Mum in a while; she used to live in London too but decided to move up north and you stayed in London because you didn't want to leave Dan. You used to be so close to your Mum when you were younger but when your Dad fell ill, your relationship became broken.

"How ill is she?" You ask, beginning to feel sick inside.

"The doctor says that she may only live for another month or so. I'm so sorry."

"Ok. Could you please text me the address. I'll fly right over." You say.

"Yes miss, I will send you it right away. See you soon."

You hang up the call and place the phone in your hand luggage. Just as you thought things couldn't get any worse, you are now losing your own Mother as well as the love of your life.

"Everything okay (y/n)? You looked pretty upset during that phone call. I didn't want to buy a ticket in case that was Dan and you wanted to go back to the hotel." Phil says.

"No it wasn't Dan and even if it was, I wouldn't think twice about going back!" You tell him, "Besides, it was about my Mum - she's dying and I have to fly to Scotland to see her"