Endless Love

58

A few days passed and I just been carrying on with my life, not worrying about Josh or Ryan. I've been working days straight cause it's been busy, I finally was just able to make it home, but I haven't heard from neither one of them since that day until now.

"So are we gonna talk about anything?" Ryan said as I walked in the door. He still must've had a key to my place, I haven't thought about changing locks.

"Can I walk through my door first? What is there to talk about Ryan?"

"You know what there is to talk about."

"I don't, and I don't have time for this. Josh will be here soon to get Lily's bag, and I don't need you two at eachother's throats."

"We can talk about it now cause that's why I'm here, I cancelled plans to come here and talk." He said sitting down on one of the couches and looking over at me. I sat down on the opposite side and looked back at him. For a little while it was silent, and awkward cause I guess we didn't know where to start. "So did you tell him yes?"

"I didn't. Don't you think if I did I'd be happy and moved in and all that by now? Obviously I didn't. And that doesn't mean I'm trying to say yes to you right now. I'm just minding my own business."

"Liyah, you were all for marrying me when he was in his coma, why the change of mind?"

"The fuck do you mean why the change of mind? Before he was in a coma I was fixing my relationship with him anyways! Of course shit wasn't perfect but we were working on it!"

"So why add me into this drama?!"

"Cause you were an outlet for me! All the bad I was going through, I had you. You gave me space and allowed me to just be me while it was needed. Then I ended up growing feelings for you but to be honest, I don't know if they were real feelings or not." I said looking him straight in the face cause at this point I didn't care anymore, I was getting used to just being alone. "At the same time it was very lonely being with you, you were always focused on work which isn't a bad thing. I respect that, but I think that's all you should be focused on right now." I said opening up the door and looking at him. "You can go now. I said what I needed too."

"I'm here to get Lily's bag." I heard Josh say right at the doorway. He let himself in, not paying any attention to me or Ryan, for once Josh was quiet.

"Alright, I wish you the best of luck then." Ryan said walking out without saying anything else but that. You could see in his face how upset he was, and I hate that I even let him and I get as far as we did, I was so hung up on feeling anything and getting Josh back for all he's done to me.

"So what you do? Sleep with him and told him to get out?"

"No? Why you even say that?"

"Well, Sabrina told me you slept with her ex."

"And you can tell Sabrina she's on the verge of getting slapped the hell up since she has so much to say. You know what else Sabrina been saying? What else she's been running her mouth about? How you two were gonna get married, how that was your baby she lost. She was so sure it was yours."

"And if it was? And nah I wasn't gonna marry her I don't know where she got that from. You should've known better than that, or I thought you knew better anyways."

"That's the point, it probably was. And I wasn't sure what to believe at that point just like you don't. I was hurt, he was hurt. Hell yeah we slept together and it was good too. You really can't talk any shit Josh, seriously what I've done was nothing compared to your damage." I said standing right at the door, waiting for Josh to leave. I seen the jealousy still on his face, whether he wanted to admit it or not. Josh hates hearing about anyone in bed with me but him.

"So you're trying to make me jealous now?"

"No."

"I know it wasn't as good as it is with me. I know he didn't have you the way I could have you." He said raising his eyebrows and looking at me, and walking out into the hallway. "You know Liyah, all you have to do is say the words."

"What? I don't want you back. You don't want me back either so cut the shit." I said and he walked up and laid his body against mine, putting his hand on the side of my neck and looking straight into my eyes. I knew what he was doing. he was doing what he always did to make me weak and I hate to admit that it was working. He eventually pushed his lips right on mine, kissed me and it wasn't a quick kiss, it lasted a few minutes. During those quick few minutes I could feel myself getting weaker, and my stomach turning into knots because for some reason, he still gave me that feeling he always did.

"And yet you say you don't want me?" He said as he rubbed his hand on my neck slowly and backed out from the kiss. "I know you still want me."

"I wasn't the one who kissed you, you kissed me, so I was just giving you what you wanted." I said looking into his hungry eyes, I could tell he was ready. I think the way he made me, was the same way I would make him. Just an instant touch and we were ready, if I could I would jump all over him right now, but I wasn't going to make it seem like he was right. I had to be smart about my decisions with Josh right now. We stood there in silence and just stared at eachother, no fighting and arguing, just silence.

"Josh! What's taking you so long? I had to come up here because I didn't know what you two could've been doing at this point." Sabrina said coming down the hall from the elevator, and I just laughed and looked at her and then Josh. "Are you ready baby?"

"Baby?" I said smiling, trying to hide the evil bitch that was yearning to come out as soon as she made her way towards me. I wanted to go off, possibly cuss her out but it wasn't the time, I had to be nosey right now.

"Yeah, he didn't tell you? We're official now."

"Oh wow, congratulations!" I said shaking my head and looking at Josh. "When were you gonna let me know that?"

"I was getting there."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure you were. That's great news, buddy." I said and he rolled his eyes and looked at her. I could tell he wasn't ready for that news to come out, if it was up to him he probably wouldn't of never even told me.

"Yeah it is, and I just want to make sure we have no hard feelings since I'll be around a lot more, hopefully we can all just be friends and get along." She said pulling me into a hug I wasn't trying to give. I looked at Josh and just shook my head again, cause once again, he here came kissing me while just freshly getting into a relationship. "So we're good?"

"Do I even have a choice." I said getting out the hug and she grabbed the bag out of Josh's hand and kissed him.

"You taste like strawberry lip gloss, I didn't know I had strawberry." I turned put my hand over my lips and was trying my best to smear that shit off.

"You probably do, just go to the car I'm about to just use the bathroom and I'll meet you down there."

"Alright babe, once again Liyah it's nice to see you!" She yelled out and I put on my fake smile and waved, watching her leave out the elevator.

"Wow Josh, really? If you think I'm about to be in another situation like how it was with Naomi, you about to get your feelings hurt."

"No, I swear I don't wanna do that either. I don't know what came over me to kiss you. I just want us to be friends at least." He said putting his hand out for me to shake it and I made a confused face, and laughed at the sametime.

"Wow, never thought I'd live the day to hear you say that." I shook his hand and watched his face as he still stared at me. I think he could sense that I was shocked and sad to even hear him say that, but at the same time I don't believe Josh. He can't just be friends with me, he can't just sit back and really watch me get close with someone else, only way I know he was really moving on is if he wasn't in love with me anymore, and after that kiss I know that's not the case.