Endless Love

36

A few days passed by, it was early morning hours but it didn't feel like it, in my apartment you'd never know it. My shades were closed and it was pitch dark. I haven't slept or ate in days, I've just been laying here under the covers, hiding. I kept my phone turned on cause I'll never know if someone would call about Lily or Josh. I went to the hospital yesturday and nothing had changed.

"Liyah?" I heard Tay say from outside the door. "They said it was a heart attack Josh had that day." I stood there, leaning against the door. We were having a pretty heated arguement, and I know he probably heard us. His hot headed ass was getting so worked up in his sleep he put himself in a heart attack. But then again, it's our faults too, well hers. I wasn't trying to fight or argue in a place like that.

"Yeah, yeah I figured that." I said wiping my eyes and opening the door.

"I got chinese. And ice cream. And I just repaid that $8 Netflix bill girl, we can get somethinng started, that Netflix and chill." I cracked a smile a little and looked at Tay, grabbing the bag of food and sitting it on the table. Once she put the ice cream in the freezer and took her coat off, she came and sat next to me on the couch.

"Netflix with no chill, but I will take the food." I said taking out containers and grabbing the chopsticks.

"I was going to get Italian but I know that's you and Josh's thing."

"Yeah, he always bought me that back in college. I can't believe it's been that long."

"I know right, it was like yesturday. I remember everything, I remember when you first told me about you and Josh. I was like this girl done got herself into the deepest of shit more than she thinks." I laughed and rubbed my head, cause back then I didn't wanna admit it but shit, look at my life now.

"And you just so happen to be right, look at my life. Look how it all went down. Will I ever be happy Tay?"

"Yeah, when he wakes his ass up I think that literally will wake him up more than he was trying to do already."

"Hopefully,- hopefully he even wakes up. And who knows maybe his brain hit a nerve and he won't even want me-"

"Girl please." She said eating some of the food and starting a movie. "He's gonna wake up saying your name, and he's gonna make sure he gets to you."

"Yeah, sure. But you do have a point he's Josh, and I just so happen to be me, he'd probably get up to find me fresh out the coma." I said laughing and eating on my food. It felt good to laugh cause I haven't in so long, I usually have Lily to laugh with or used to hearing her laugh at the TV. And when Josh and I weren't arguing, we did laugh with eachother too. About 30 minutes into the movie, we were halfway done with our food and then there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it." Tay said getting up to open the door. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, is Liyah here?" I heard someone say, and only to look back and find out it was Ryan. I recognized his voice but I didn't know it as well as I did someone elses, we barely had conversations for me to know him that well. We've been textig here and there, but not for a while now.

"He's fine Tay, you can let him in. That's my coffee covered friend." She came in and he walked over with her and sat down next to me and gave me a hug.

"I'm completely dry this time, made it here with no coffee. How are you though? I'm sorry I popped up the way I did, I didn't know if you were going to be here but I wanted to come see how you were doing anyways."

"I'm trying to do alright." I said eating on my food and looking over at Tay on her phone on Twitter.

"Ugh, I gotta get to work. Kim has you out right now so she's been flocking to me. She's just secretly going crazy without you there."

"Kim's like a mom and I'm her favorite daughter. Of couses she's missing me." I laughed and Tay put her coat on and walked to the door.

"I'll be back later, call me if you need me okay?"

"Okay, thanks. Have fun!" I laughed sarcastically and waved and she rolled her eyes shutting the door. I was lucky to have her in my life, she got me to laugh and smile today after days of feeling nothing.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Ryan said putting the movie on pause and I put the container of food down on the table. I turned to look at him and even though I didn't know him so much, I can sense that he genuinely wanted to listen to me.

"This is the first time I been really alone since I stopped talking to Josh when we were in college, after an arguement we had. I was just as in the dark, depressed as I am now."

"I understand that, I'd feel the same if I had what you had, then it's just snatched from me. But don't let this take you off of your train of thought about you're happiness."

"What do you mean?"

"Like, I don't wanna sound like I'm an asshole cause we both know I can, but before this happened you were upset and confused about things that were going on with you two. Don't forget that just because the condition he's in."

"So you're saying I'm wrong for feeling lonely cause he isn't here?"

"No but that's kind of my point, weren't you lonely when he was here? Weren't you struggling to figure out if that's who you should be with in the first place?" I stopped and thought about what he was saying, I didn't wanna admit that anything he was saying was right, even though at the sametime I did.

"Yeah but-"

"You love him. I know, but are you going to stay with someone just because the love you think you have? Has he shown you why he loves you, has he been proving it as he said he would?"

"I don't know, he's telling me truths little by little. I don't even know if that's all he had to tell me. After he told me about this girl that he somewhat grew feelings for in my absence was pregnant-"

"He got another girl pregnant? And you're still confused? Wow."

"No, if she is it was before we met up again, I can't just hold that against him. But if he knew he was in a relationship or whatever he called it, then he should've awknowledged that. Oh, and the girl is married. She came down to the hospital going off on me a mile a minute."

"You put up with too much, when will you realize that for yourself?" He said shaking his head and checking his phone. "Look at all you put up just from him alone, I can only imagine what else is to come." He said standing up, still on his phone. "I might have to go, I just got some texts from some of my workers." I got up and looked at him, I wanted to tell him to stay, but I wasn't sure, I just don't wanna be alone. "What? You look like you wanna say something."

"Nothing, thanks for talking with me."

"No problem, I'll be back later if you want me too, I'll bring you hot chocolate, since you say you don't like coffee." He said standing in the doorway and looking over at me. "You gonna be okay?" I swallowed my pride and finally just let the words come out.

"Stay, please. You don't have to but I just- I really don't wanna be alone. Or, I don't know you're probably busy-"

"Liyah, if you need me just say it. I can tell you block everyone out from trying to be there for you or just shut everyone out. You don't gotta be that way with me, just say the words."

"Okay." I said standing there just looking at him, and after a few minutes it got awkward. "Are you gonna shut the door yet?"

"You didn't say the words."

"Why are you so difficult? You know what I meant, I wouldn't of said all that."

"Why are you so difficult?"

"Oh my god, Ryan will you stay here with me?" I screamed out and he laughed and shut the door and took his coat off.

"Was it that hard Liyah?"

"No, fuck you I'm not used to asking people for things so yes it was."

"Well get used to it." He said stretching out on the couch and taking my container of food. I was hesitant about this since I didn't know him as much but being cooped up in here, by myself until Tay came out of work wasn't something I wanted to do. Since I found myself telling him so much, I guess I might as well get to know him better, what kind of harm could that do?