Endless Love

24

It was around 11:34pm, at home by myself cause Lily was at one of her friend's houses for New Year's. I didn't feel like going out, I was too tired and Tay had to work. I had other friends other than Tay, but I wasn't much of a party person, I'd always agree to going out but I'd just end up sleep on the couch looking a hot mess with pizza in my hand.

"Liyah open the door." I heard Josh's voice yell out from behind the door. I rolled my eyes and got up and opened it, letting him in. "Why you just watching TV on the couch? It's New Year's Eve."

"Well, I don't really feel like going out. It's cold, snowing. All those people out there I couldn't get out if I tried. How did you even get here? That crowd is all over the streets."

"I have my ways." He said closing the door and taking a seat next to me on the couch.

"I'm surprised you're here. Why aren't you out?" I said changing through the channels.

"I figured Lily was here so I was just gonna spend it with you two."

"Yeah she's at one of her friends house, it was last minute but they were having a sleep over with a couple other kids too." I said looking over at Josh. "Did you have a back up plan?"

"Nah, so I guess you're stuck with me." He said laughing and leaning back against me. I wanted to ask him about Naomi but I didn't know how too. Since he did lie anout something serious, I figured I might as well ask, no matter how bad it may come out.

"Well you should, I heard Naomi's around. Well, I know she's here." He leaned up and looked back at me.

"So? How you know she's here anyways?"

"She came to my job." I said getting up and looking down at him. He just looked back up at me as if he didn't have one clue of what she could've told me. "She told me she was looking for you. Her daughter's been asking for her dad?" He laughed and shook his head and looked at me.

"That's not my baby, Liyah. Have you seen her?" He said getting up walking over to the window, and for some reason he looked like he was getting mad.

"Josh it's not a big deal I just asked cause she came to my job on some bullshit. I wasn't trying to argue."

"No it is a big deal cause you don't get it."

"What don't I get Josh?"

"Naiomi was sleeping with so many guys and I didn't find out until the baby was almost born. Everyone seemed to know but me. I was looking like the fool, she had me staying around with her just because of where my life was going."

"I don't understand how you didn't know-"

"And it pisses me off how I wasn't there for you, I walked away from you at graduation like you were the worst thing that ever happened to me! I was so caught in Naiomi's web that you couldn't even tell me you were pregnant. Do you know how much that bothers me Liyah?!"

"No, I didn't know but-"

"Well it bothers me! I hate how that had to end and how it is right now!" He said yelling and cutting me off every chance he got. I never seen Josh break down the way he is right now, I'm usually always mad and angry at him, instead of trying to listen to how he's actually feeling so from this angle it's different. I stood there against the wall and just watched him. "Lily's like what three years old and just now meeting me and it's my own fault! And I don't blame you, I know you regret everything you had with me. I'm not the best person, I hurt you a lot, I left you! I do nothing but ruin everything!"

He said walking away towards the door. I didn't want him to leave, especially after everything he was telling me and it didn't seem like he was done yet. "Josh wait, don't leave." He stopped in the doorway but he didn't turn around and face me. "I don't regret anything with you, regaurdless all I've went through with you. No matter what you did, I don't regret you, I never will. You're Lily's dad, and I know it took a while for her to finally meet you. It wasn't all just your fault. It was mine too." I said trying my hardest not to cry, and walking over to him but I didn't get too close. I know his emotions were all over the place right now.

He turned around and didn't say anything, and slammed the door shut. I walked closer and wrapped my arms around him, and hugged him as tight as I could. I looked up and seen his eyes meet with mine, and just as any other time, I felt my heart start to beat faster against his chest and every memory of us rushing back to my mind. I thought about everything that led us here, and everything he just said. I didn't want to get too caught up in the moment so I pulled away.

"I'm just gonna go lay down."

"No you're not." He said pulling me back to his body, and I could feel his eyes on me, but I refused to look. "Why don't you look at me from right here and tell me that all you wanna do right now is go lay down." He said bringing me closer and lifting my head up to the point our eyes met, and just like that in a matter of seconds our lips met too.

He picked me up and kissed me all the way to my room and threw me down on the bed, staring down at me for a couple of minutes.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" I said laughing and grabbing his big arms and pulling him down to me.

"You know I love you right?" I stared back at him and ran my fingers through his hair and smiled.

"Yeah Josh."

"Wow, you finally agreed with me, I should get up and mark this on the calendar. It should be considered history right now."

"Shut up, don't get beyond yourself." I laughed and pressed my head against his. " And you're not going no where. You got a lot of making up to do." I said pressing my lips against his.

"Oh it's like that? I knew you wasn't getting satisfied by them clown asses that you were sleeping with."

"Don't even start shut up." I said laughing and pulling him down to me, we kissed for a couple minutes before one of us made the first move. He kissed his way from my lips down to my neck, and I shivered a bit once he took my shirt off. I reached under the pillow and started looking for the box of condoms I keep around, just for emergency purposes.

"Liyah no, you never made me use one before."

"Yeah and look where that got us, you want anymore babies?!" I said laughing and pulled the box out as he kept kissing on the side of my neck.

"Yes." He said laughing and looking at me. I know he was waiting for a sarcastic reply from me, cause he knows I'm serious.

"How about no?" I threw him the condom and he sighed and laughed cause he knows my reactions to just about everything by now. It was New Year's Eve and it took an unexpected turn for me, I was with Josh, making love on New Year's Eve. At the moment everything felt right between us and nothing but the love we shared kept replaying back in my mind. The crowd outside for New Year's was growing louder as the countdown for midnight started, but we weren't paying it any attention. I'm not sure whether to think of the ending of my year was a good ending, or a bad one.