Endless Love

57

"Liyah! Open up the damn door!" I heard Josh screaming and banging on my front door like he was the feds. It was about an two hours afrer I had left both of them back at the place. I had mo idea if they fought or what since I left, but I had no interest in caring about what the hell they did at this point.

"What?!" I said yelling from behind the door, I wasn't ready to even open it yet, I didn't wanna face Josh, or Ryan. Right now, I been thinking that I don't even want to be with neither of them.

"How are you just gonna leave like that? And then act like I'm wrong for telling his ass the truth?!"

"Cause I don't know what I want Josh! Yeah you're awake, but this shit is so fresh, of course we sitting here acting like we give a fuck and love eachother so much, how I don't know in another few months you won't be making your way around again? With this girl and that girl?"

"You don't never fucking wanna trust me! You would choose everyone else over me!"

"You gave me all the reasons in the world not to Josh, don't play stupid! And what do you mean I chose everyone over you? Everyone I get with you chased away!" I heard him sigh and walk away from the door, I knew he was starting to get mad.

"I didn't chase nobody away, you love me Liyah no matter how much you don't wanna admit it! I should've never got in the coma, then maybe Sabrina wouldn't of lost her baby. Then I could've been happy with somebody who seems to might actually want me, since with you I never damn it know." I slammed the door open and looked at Josh, he was mad and so was I, so together it was about to be a war zone.

"Really? Did you just fucking say that? Okay Josh." I put my hands on my head and was trying my hardest not to attack Josh because I know I will.

"Truth hurts Liyah?"

"You tell me you don't know if I wanted you, but it's the same shit with you, I tried and tried with you. Then at the same time I didn't want you in my life, you broke my heart enough already I didn't need you back in it! But because of Lily, and because I love you so much! I stuck around I never chose myself as much as I have been doing!"

"I fucked up numerous times, but admit you fucked up in ways too! There's no way to move on from this shit Liyah! From you almost marrying somebody that's not me, from you just saying you didn't want me back in your life! So if I never heard about you having Lily, you wouldn't of never fucking told me about her would you?" I starred at him and tears started falling down my cheeks, I felt my anger and frustration building up and I knew it was about to come right out.

"Don't ever bring that shit up to me like I didn't wanna tell you, I tried and you know that! I tried telling you when I was pregnant but you weren't fucking listening to me you were wrapped around Naomi, just like you're wrapped around Sabrina! Where was all this talk about her ass the last month Josh? Since you say you wanna be happy, and that she makes you happy, go! Go to her then why are you here?!" I said pushing him, and punching him from out of my doorway and into the wall and he was just standing there.

"Liyah stop! I'm not gonna fight you back!" He said trying to hold my arms but he couldn't, so he put his arms around me instead. I was so upset that I didn't wann hear anything else he had to say at this point, it felt like all he had to say was out already.

"Leave! Go to her then! All this time you've been lying saying I make you happy!"

"You been lying too I see since he came back you claim you unsure. When he was gone you still said you was unsure but you seemed sure to me!"

"I told you I didn't know what I wanted! You were well aware of that Josh, and now you're attacking me for reminding you?! And then saying I'd never tell you about Lily, I fucking tried! I didn't matter enough to you back then for you to know something was wrong! And you wanna say you'd be happier with her go then and get the hell out my hallway!" I said fighting myself out his arms and I kept pushing him and fighting him down the hallway, and I ended up slapping him. "Get out!"

"Just wait, I'm sorry! I know it wasn't for me to say you know I'm just mad and things come out when I'm mad-" He said trying to hold me, but he wasn't able too since I was moving too much.

"No! You heard me, leave go to her! Cause you claim she'd be nothing but happiness for you, just like back then you chose Naomi over me and Lily, you're doing the samething to me right now!" I said and I must've struck a nerve, even though he won't admit that cause the expression on his whole face changed.

I turned around and walked back to my apartment and laid down on the couch. I knew we were angry, but to me the truth comes out when you're mad and Josh finally let out the truth about how he felt. I never know what anything really is with Josh and I, I never know if it's the end or if we just need a break from eachother but based off of what we argued about, it all felt like the end. It was a new feeling I never felt before, and I hated it.