Chapter 142

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We ran and ran until the prison seemed like a lost memory. It had been our home for so long and now it was gone. We didn't know if anyone else had made it out or if they had, where they were. All we could do is hope, keep going and keep surviving.

"Are you okay?" Someone suddenly asked. I looked down to see it was Lizzie. I'd been so lost in my own thoughts I hadn't heard her approach me.

"I will be." I nodded and looked up ahead of me.

Tyreese was up front, carrying Judith, with Mika by his side. He'd offered on more than one occasion to let me carry her, but I refused. I told him and the girls it was because I didn't want to risk her getting sick as I still wasn't one hundred percent, but the real reason was because of what'd happened.

After losing mine and Daryl's child, I hadn't realised, until now, that I'd avoided Judith back at the prison. I'd tried to avoid all reminders of having a baby around in fear I'd never be able to have that feeling or that memory of holding my own child. It was still just to soon and it was gonna take time before I could be comfortable around her. I just wasn't ready.

After a while, I let Lizzie go off ahead of me as I found myself lost in thought again. I was just thinking about what might've happened if we'd killed the Governor before. That way Merle wouldn't have died. Andrea, Axel, Oscar, Jace and everyone else would still be alive. Maybe if I'd have killed him way back when I first found Woodbury, we'd still be at the prison.

All of a sudden, I heard Mika start to cry and sympathy washed over me. "Hey, don't cry." I said softly as I walked up next to her and gave her a small side hug.

"I want Carol." She sobbed.

"Well she's not here." Lizzie said, walking to the other side of her. I watched as she then pulled out a knife and handed it to Mika. "Here. Put this on your belt. It's gonna get dark soon." She turned to me and spoke loud enough so Tyreese could hear. "Where are we going?"

Tyreese stopped and turned to face us. "Further. Come on."

The girls both nodded and Mika ran after Tyreese. Lizzie just looked up at me. "Is everybody dead?"

"I hope not." I replied. "If they got out, we're gonna find them."

Lizzie just nodded and we all went silent for a while as we continued walking. What I'd said to Lizzie about everyone going over and over in my head. If Daryl had made it out then maybe he was tracking us and maybe it wouldn't be long until we caught up to someone else.

We'd been walking for at least another hour or so before I suddenly felt light headed and had to catch myself on a near by tree. "Hey. I need to stop." I called over to Tyreese.

Tyreese stopped and turned to face me. "Yeah. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I just need a minute." I nodded.

"Yeah okay. Take as long as you need." He said and the two girls sat down on a fallen log. I then did the same leaving Tyreese keeping watch.

After a while, we decided to set up camp between the two fallen trees. Tyreese was still standing watch with Judith, only now Mika had also gone over to join him, leaving Lizzie and I still sitting on the log.

For a while it was peaceful, as we all just sat there silently. That was until Judith started crying.

For some reason it sent a horrid feeling through me with each sob and it felt like ringing in my ears. I wasn't sure if I was being over sensitive or my issue with being around babies was worse than I first thought. It was like being sick and isolated distracted me from what'd happened and momentarily helped me forget, but now, being out here with her, it bought it all back.

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